[Author’s Note: This is not meant to be offensive, merely funny. Also, for those who want to know, I have not read the Harry Potter books and do not plan to–the attitude, even more than the subject matter, of the books is contrary to my worldview. I am not judging those who have read and enjoyed the books, or J.K. Rowling; I merely do not wish to read the books myself. Thank you for your understanding and consideration! 🙂 ]
The next morning, I promptly cleaned up and made my way down to breakfast. The breakfast room, like the breakfast room at any hotel, was reasonably full, and people were constantly coming and going. Getting myself some toast and yogurt, I sat down at a corner table, just to watch the others. Then I realized I hadn’t gotten anything to drink. So, naturally, I got up and went to get myself some milk, not feeling like orange juice that morning. I was about to make my way back to my table when I realized that Anakin had come to join me.
Or rather, he had come and sat down at the same table, with his feet on my chair. I set my glass of milk down, very deliberately, and said very politely, “Anakin, excuse me, but I was sitting there, where your feet are now. Would you mind removing them?” He just stared at me as if I was some bizarre species of alien, chewing away at his bagel. I groaned and went over to sit by Rheadwyn instead.
Then things got interesting.
The bell in the belltower began to clang madly, and booted feet rushed past in the hallway outside. I leaped to my feet, startled, and dashed out into the hall. Mace Windu rushed past me, followed by Obi-Wan. Several others ran past and accidentally swept me into the crowd. I found myself running alongside Obi-Wan. “What’s happening?”
“It’s a breach,” he said. “Someone from an unauthorized story world has broken in, and we need to find and evict them as soon as may be.” I stared at him.
“Does this happen often?”
“It’s become more frequent ever since the Harry Potter lot learned those trans-dimensional tricks of theirs. Of course, we’ve been researching that sort of thing for years, but no one else seems to have found a practicable way until recently.” He remarked telepathically, We think that a traitor sold them the information. I gasped.
Please, don’t do that. It’s cool but freaky.
As you wish. Obi-Wan grabbed my arm suddenly and pulled me around a corner. “Cover me,” he ordered. “Just a basic shield. You never know what they’ll have up their sleeve.” Stretching out my arm, I put into practice the simple defense I had learned, shielding us both. Obi-Wan pulled a liquid-cable launcher from a belt pouch. He kicked open the door to one of the empty rooms and gave a slight sigh. “Potter, come on out. I know it’s you. I know you’re here. Just do things the easy way.” There was no sound from inside the room. Suddenly there was a tiny flicker and I noticed something sitting on my boot. I panicked.
Obi-Wan, there’s something on me, a bug or something!
Calm down, he ordered. He reached down and drew his hand back as if he’d been stung. Ah. A nanodragon. I should have seen that coming. He reached down slowly, a second time. “Last warning, Potter!” he shouted. At the same time he brought his hand up with eye-blurring speed, hurling the nanodragon into midair. There was a shriek and Harry Potter–in the flesh–fell from the rafters, sitting down hard on the floor, kicking up dust. Obi-Wan walked over and grabbed him by the collar, heaving him to his feet. “Unfortunately for you, you pulled Ziggerastica, the great and mighty humbug, marvelous center of the universe, along with you on your little pleasure jaunt,” he observed. “Don’t you think it’s time you outgrew these childish tricks, Potter? If your poor author was still working on your series, she’d be in the middle of a bout of writer’s block by now!” The boy wizard scowled. Obi-Wan frowned. “Have it your way.” He thumped twice on the floor with the heel of one boot, and a strange phenomenon appeared–swirling black and throwing off little sparkles. Obi-Wan unceremoniously dumped Harry Potter into the portal, then closed it with a wave of one hand. “Your turn,” he remarked to the nanodragon attached to his sleeve. Shrieking curses and obscenities in Dragonese, the nanodragon was flung into a bright orange-and-pink portal. Obi-Wan sucked on his bitten finger, wiping his other hand on his pant leg. “There,” he said. “That’s done.”
“I didn’t know you were a Wielder,” I remarked, interested.
“Sort of,” Obi-Wan replied. “I’m technically a Warden, though, which means that I’m one of the few beings actually authorized for inter-dimensional travel. It’s like with normal people; the more times they’re exposed to radiation, the more likely they are to experience genetic mutations. Only for fictional characters, it’s the more often they feature in crossover fanfiction. My first real journey–not in a fanfiction–out of my own dimension was pretty weird. I ended up in the background of an episode of Doctor Who.” I burst out laughing.
“And how did you know Potter was there? I didn’t sense anything.” I added.
“The smell of the detergents they use at Hogwarts is very distinctive,” Obi-Wan said. “Like a combination of bug spray, skunk cabbage, and lichen.” He winked. I laughed.
“Lichen has a smell?”
“It smells rather like wet wood, but a little more acidic,” he said. I nodded.
Yes, I was becoming more comfortable with the members of Selay’uu.