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This happened.

Because even Time Lords have their off days. (Also, more Jack and Martha silliness. -_-)

Also, you should probably expect more gossip-obsessed Jack in the very near future, because it’s canon now. Sorry-not-sorry.

Accidents Happen

                “You kicked the Master in the jaw?!”

“I was panicking, all right?”

The voices rose louder and louder. Jack looked up from his gossip magazine and grinned. They were at it again.

“I can’t believe you kicked the Master. In the jaw.”

“So what if I have long legs?!”

Jack laughed into the sleeve of his trusty old coat. They were just about getting to his favorite part.

“You kicked the Master. In the jaw.”


“You kicked the Master in the face?! What about the ‘I’m the last Time Lord, he’s my responsibility’ line?”


Jack snickered into the announcement that Vickie Whatserface had gotten engaged. He didn’t particularly care about half the gossip in the magazine, but the magazines had become an addiction. Thanks a lot, Lottie-at-Torchwood.

“I panicked, okay? I do stupid things when I panic! Humans do stupid things when they panic, too, don’t they?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Martha said in her not-quite-serious voice. She couldn’t contain her laughter any longer and burst out into a fit of giggles.

“What?” More giggles from Martha.

“What? Seriously, what?

Martha said at last, still giggling, “You saved the world in a panic.”

“I do it on adrenaline half the time. Your point?”

“Panic whenever you want, Mister,” Martha said, obviously grinning. “This old planet isn’t going any place.”