Good morning, everyone!
Now this didn’t get much of a response on FanFiction, where I posted it on Iris‘s account… I’m hoping to get some solid feedback on it here. It’s a bit dark, I should warn you: It deals with the Doctor’s imagination running away with him and the series of events that leads to his regeneration in “The End of Time.” But I’d really like to get some feedback on it.
Enjoy! I hope…
“You set up a sealed box with a radioactive source and a flask of Zyklon B crystals that will spill out and form deadly hydrogen cyanide gas as soon as radiation is released. You then put a cat into the box and seal it. Is the cat dead or alive?”
Is it dead or alive? Is it dead or alive?
The Doctor couldn’t control the muscle spasms that bent him backwards, agony sparking through his nervous system. Just like a cat in a locked box, being poisoned by Time’s irregularities, its unpredictable nature.
Dead or alive?
Wilfred was alive. He knew that. And he himself had been. Sweat beaded on his brow. He was going to start screaming now—he would scream and scream until the voice changed and another man walked away and he was dead.
Dead or alive? Dead or alive?
Were you mad to hear voices in your head, or did you keep them under a tight seal, Doctor, silencing them to pretend that you still had your sanity when you were really just the same as me? But instead of war drums you heard their screams—the screams you couldn’t stop—
His hearts were pounding. He could feel the radiation seeping into his bones, killing every cell one at a time. It would have been a painless death, but for the warning pain brought. Coming. Coming. Coming. It’s already begun. The change is coming.
He gasped for breath, sucking in poisoned air.
“The cat is both dead and alive,” Koschei announced proudly, his voice a death knell to the man who had thought he was his friend.
The cat is both dead and alive.
Okay, I have like nooooooo idea of the context, so it was a little confusing, but don’t mind me. 😛
The writing, my friend, was amazing. I just really liked the way it flowed. And… gah. I don’t know. Just ask more specific questions so I can channel my likey-ness of it. XP
I’m glad you liked it! 😀
The context is that he’s trapped in a booth with a bunch of nasty radiation killing him and he’s about to regenerate as a result. “Koschei” is the childhood name of the Master, his childhood friend and the person thanks to whom he’s in this predicament in the first place. It’s a very sad moment…
Did you think that the use of the thought experiment as a metaphor helped to convey the emotion of the moment?
Yes, it worked really well. I like the pacing it provides for the overall tone as well. Switch offs are a great thing to write with.
Also the final line did a nice tie in with both the experiment and what was going on. Well used. 🙂
I don’t know why this post isn’t getting any traffic. *sigh* Maybe I’m just posting at the wrong time for it?
I’ll be your traffic. ❤ XP
You could just delete and repost it. The internet is very fickle with what they like. ignoring this one was a big mistake…. *shakes fist at internet*
Thank you :-3
Did you like the story???
I’m glad you did! 😀