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~ A random repository of how-to-write and geekery, with an occasional snippet of accidental wisdom.

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Tag Archives: editing

Not-Quite-Teens-Can-Write-Too: First Thing I Wrote

14 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Story Dynamics, Tales of a Wandering Bard, The Brooklyn Project

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

arthurian legends, author, doctor who, editing, fantasy, fiction, novels, robin hood legends, science fiction, star wars, steampunk, story dynamics, writer, writing

The prompt was “What was the first thing you wrote of your own free will?”

Simple answer: I started when I was nine, writing a compilation (it was not a novel, too haphazard) of Robin Hood stories. It was poorly written, with choppy transitions, and too pleased-with-itself, and the humor was just shoved in randomly, not integrated.

Nevertheless, I had some fun with it.

Rewriting it today, I would have done it from Will Scarlet’s point of view, left out extraneous material I’d thrown in, and done a lot more research. (Watching Doctor Who has made a good impression on me. At least in that respect.)

The second thing I started to write, when I was eleven, was a complex and dedicated effort at overhauling the young people’s side of the Star Wars mythos–namely, I wrote about a Padawan Learner (different one in each trilogy.) It was essentially Jedi Apprentice, but much more ambitious. (I was eleven, and already writing at an eighth grade level. That might be hard to believe, but if you ignore the poor quality of the content and the horrible, choppy, obvious dialogue, it’s true.) This story had no central arc, being merely a series of short adventures (mind you, I had not started watching TV shows back then, so I had no real idea of how to write a story which could stand alone but also played into a larger plot. Kudos to you, Bad Wolf.) The first of these stories, in the original trilogy, starred an OC–not a Mary Sue, I am proud to say, but still horribly awkward. (I am considering rewriting some of the adventures into a separate novel that has no Star Wars affiliation, because some of these characters would fit ironically well into a steampunk setting. I recently discovered that I love steampunk, and science fiction, especially science fiction that takes its science seriously. Such a treat!)

I started a third novel a few years later about a mythical country and a young woman who had been kidnapped. This is the story that would eventually teach me that less is more, because her backstory got painfully complicated very quickly. Rewriting it today, I would make her less of a victim and more of a dynamic character with something to actually bring to the table (maybe she likes making shoes? That would be useful to the rebels!), and make her actually a real, honest-to-goodness peasant who had just been raised by her aunt and uncle, rather than a noble in disguise. Self-made nobles are far more interesting than born ones in many cases.

After that, I began work on a different angle on the Arthurian legends, which spun off into a novel about Mordred–my Mordred is a bit more like Batman, only with some anti-hero thrown in, a temper, and a vulnerable side–he desperately wants to be accepted by Arthur’s court, but he wants to be accepted for who he is, not as Arthur’s long-lost (illegitimate) son, and his best friend, Gawaine, can never find out that Mordred is really his half-brother (Morgause, in this story, is Mordred’s mother, but he was raised by his aunt Morgan.) Of course, it gets a bit violent–Mordred gets angry with Morgan and walks out on her when he turns fifteen, and of course it was acrimonious. Mordred decides to change his fate and is totally loyal to Arthur (he explains to his confidant Lady Lynnette, who is married to one of his half-brothers and found out Mordred’s secret by accident, “I don’t think of him as my father. That would be weird. I think of him as my king.”) but ends up having to make the choice between saving Arthur and stopping Morgan. Add in a bit of a dark sense of humor and there you are.

It’s not always been an easy or comfortable journey (bits of it were positively embarrassing,) but I’ve been glad to go on it, if it means improvement. Allons-y!

Thanks to Rosalie for starting up this alternative blog chain. She might think it’s awkward, but she deserves lots of hugs. You can find the launching post here.

The Brooklyn Project: Protagonist-Centered Morality and Why it’s Bad

16 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Story Dynamics, The Brooklyn Project

≈ 61 Comments

Tags

accountability, baroness orczy, bbc merlin, bbc sherlock, captain america, captain america: the first avenger, captain america: the winter soldier, character development, characters, dynamic characters, editing, harry potter, heroes, marvel, marvel superheroes, star wars, story dynamics, the brooklyn project, the scarlet pimpernel, undo the sue, writing

Sometimes, an author will become so preoccupied with his or her hero or heroine that they can do no wrong–even when they are. The rules bend for these protagonists. And people in the stories (and occasionally the reader as well) see nothing wrong with this.

This can potentially lead to the creation of a Mary Sue.

Protagonist-centered morality is bad because it takes away the possibility of accountability as well. If your hero does something wrong, you want it to have repercussions. They can’t just get away with a slap on the hand! It reinforces to the reader that the hero has done something wrong, and it also makes for deeper characters. If the hero has slipped up once, they have to fight harder to even be allowed to do it right the next time..

On the other hand, if you don’t add responsibility, your protagonist can become spoiled and obnoxious (as in real life) or unrealistically angelic (sickening.) The latter would make him/her a Mary Sue, no matter how many de-Sue-ifiers you threw in to try and balance it (without removing the lack of accountability.)

Apart from the message that it sends, that it’s okay to do bad things, it’s bad for the story at large.

I’m trying to think of a few examples, but all I can think of is that, though in the final cut, we never see the response to Steve’s failed attempts to enlist, falsifying information, I think there was actually a scene planned where someone found out and didn’t trust Steve for a while. They just didn’t officially tell anyone because if they did he’d be court-martialed and they couldn’t have that. In the planned Howling Commandos fanfic that I’m writing, I was going to have one of the people in the USO show tour find out and hold it over Steve. There are, however, strong consequences when Steve fails to predict that the train is a trap and save Bucky, even if it’s not technically his fault.

Another example would be the BBC show Merlin. While, all around, this is generally a good show, the BBC slipped up a bit (for once); this show displays a bit of protagonist-centered morality. Though, later on, they add more consequences, even to past actions, early in the show there are a few episodes where Merlin slips up and gets away with it. However, for the show’s other protagonist, Arthur, there are always consequences to his actions. Inconsistent much? Or just waiting around? *sigh* I wish they’d done it earlier on.

In the BBC show Sherlock, we’re actually hoping to see protagonist-centered morality blown out of the water; at the very end of the last season, Sherlock killed someone, point-blank, in cold blood (attempting not to give spoilers here); we want to see how people react to this. There’s always mistrust, and rightly so, after something like that.

In Star Wars, Obi-Wan’s attempt to distance himself, to not become emotionally involved, backfires when Anakin turns to the dark side; Obi-Wan’s aloof affection was simultaneously too much and not enough.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier comes with a thorough message about accountability (where Civil War is essentially about people’s Constitutional rights, from what I’ve heard). This is especially true for Natasha, who risks, in a selfless action that proves she is capable, no matter what she (and incidentally, Hydra) thinks, of heroism, she spills all her dirty secrets across the Internet in order to bring Hydra down (again, trying to avoid spoilers.) Ironically, this bypasses the same failsafe that Hydra thought would protect them; they insist that Natasha (or anyone, really) wouldn’t incriminate herself like that.

From what I’ve heard, Harry Potter is really bad about this–it sounds like he consistently breaks rules of both the magician and human world without any consequences.

One very good book that could make better use of accountability (without outright protagonist-centered morality) that I love is “The Scarlet Pimpernel.” Except for Marguerite, the book doesn’t use it quite as well as it could…

Accountability. Use it for deeper character.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

TCWT: What’s normal?

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Story Dynamics, Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

authors, baroness emma orczy, bbc sherlock, brian jacques, captain america: the first avenger, catholic culture, catholicism, christian fiction, christianity, creative writing, dee henderson, disney, dynamic characters, editing, editor, fantasy, frozen, generations, invented religions, jorge luis borges, living life with passion, loyalties, macguffins, magic realism, marvel, novels, o'malley series, paranormal, redwall, religious themes, roman catholic, sherlock holmes, sir arthur conan doyle, spiritual, star wars, story dynamics, story tools, supernatural, t.h. white, the avengers, the scarlet pimpernel, the sword in the stone, uncommon heroes series, urban fantasy, world building, writing

I thought that I would not be doing TCWT again. I’m almost too old to do it. But I decided to come back at least one last time. So, here you go.

The prompt was “What do you think is commonly done well in literature? Done poorly?” I think it depends on the author and genre as much as anything else. Some things are well-done in one genre and horrific in another, or okay in one and marvelous in another.

Religious themes. A character’s religion, how they practice it, if they really live their faith, if they even practice what they preach at all, is a marvelous tool in character development whether you are religious or not. I have never been able to understand why some people neglect it. A character’s beliefs, including their religious persuasion, tells us quite a bit about that character. (This is why, if someone leaves the religion space on their character sheet blank, I often have headcanons about their beliefs.) Some books where this is done well: Dee Henderson’s “Uncommon Heroes” and “O’Malley” series (among the only romance I actually read). Living what you preach is a sign of sincerity, honesty, and sometimes even of courage. Often, it takes courage to say more than “non-denominational” on your forms, and the thing is, these characters don’t overtly try to convert others. It is the way they live that makes others think, “Wow. I wish I had what they have.” A book where this is done poorly: Many books (sadly) in the Christian fiction genre. (Oftentimes, Christian fiction is like romance; you have to be extremely choosy to find the good stuff.)

Religious themes in general: If a character actually lives what they preach, then religious themes in the plot itself are generally a given. Normally, you won’t run into actual angels or demons “on-set”, but the forces of evil vs. the good guys will probably happen. I very much prefer the sort of stories with a fallible main character, who falls and fails and then gets up again and apologizes for it (or, sometimes, doesn’t apologize and then sees the error of his ways.) Everything else just feels like another Christian fiction forgettable Mary Sue.

I also like to see slightly-different versions of real-world religions in stories (such as the world where Christianity developed slightly different, though all the teachings are still the same, the practices are different; some practices never evolved, while some that don’t exist in the real world did.)

Magic Realism. Now and again, I love a good story with spiritual/supernatural themes in the magical realism style, where it’s all strongly realist and then seamlessly in comes a bit of the supernatural. I love it when the plot twist throws me off, but when I look back into the rest of the book, I can see how it was subtly setting it up the whole time. Sadly, many “paranormal” stories tend to be “paranormal” throughout, without any magic realism. For me, it’s not urban fantasy if they don’t have the urban before they have the fantasy. Otherwise, it’s just fantasy.

A few notes on urban fantasy: I have read a couple of very good dystopian/urban fantasy novels where the story was very well-written. One of the biggest shockers, in my opinion, is when something that’s out of our normal experience happens and the characters treat it like a normal occurrence, because in their world, it is normal.

Items with character and/or significance. Now and again, there will be a MacGuffin that really ties everything together; it doesn’t even matter what the MacGuffin is, it is the significance that goes along with it. For instance, in the Star Wars prequel trilogy, it was Padme’s charm that Anakin gave her when they were both very young. (I swear, Attack of the Clones would have been so much better if at some point, Padme had slipped the japor snippet out of the collar of her dress and said quietly, “I still have the amulet you gave me.” I would be shipping Anidala so much harder than I do now, trust me.) In my novel Loyalties, it is the multi-generational hand-me-down amulet, the symbol of a master’s care for his apprentice, which is worn hidden in the French braid across the back of an apprentice’s head (or, alternatively, depending on the circumstances, hung on its ribbon around their neck,) that ties the generations together, as it is passed down from Rynnar to Winter (who tries, upon his leaving active service as a Ranger, to return it, but Rynnar refuses to accept it), and later from Winter to his apprentice Elían, and is constantly there to remind Winter of Rynnar, even in Rynnar’s absence, during the first book. (I’m certainly praying to the Muse that I end up doing it right.)

Martin the Warrior’s sword, in the Redwall series, is a recurring object that serves to both tie the series together, and to remind everyone of Redwall’s first Champion. Another example would be Sir Percy Blakeney’s “pimpernel” signet ring in the Scarlet Pimpernel books (which, though not recurring, was key to the first book–was that a spoiler? I hope not…)

Items that get left behind. In my opinion, many authors these days tend to forget about this. Things get broken and left behind. Things are not overly important, and things should not be overly important to the characters. For instance, someone can and will lose their arrows or throwing knives (which, believe it or not, is a loss that was, in the past, a very hard one, since both were very valuable, especially arrows, which were hard and time-consuming to make by hand and thereby expensive. There will be times when someone rips their shirt or goes swimming and loses it. For some reason, authors these days seem too often to ignore these instances.

On the other hand, a character losing something with sentimental value can be a very emotional moment. It can be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. Or it can illustrate that at this point, the character doesn’t even care any more, or is just grateful that they got out of there alive. Martin the Warrior loses his father’s sword, which Tsarmina snaps in half, pushing him into vowing vengeance on the wildcat, as it was the only thing he had left to remember Luke by. Someone’s horse dies, and it’s a very emotional moment. Beaumont the hound in The Sword in the Stone (book, not the movie.)

Or, someone escapes a burning building to find that they left their old notebook behind. When the other character offers sympathy, the first just says, “It’s all right. It was only a notebook. I’m just glad we both got out alive.” Or even, “I don’t need it any more,” illustrating a dynamic moment in a character’s journey. Moments like these are a tool that is sometimes sadly neglected. People tend to forget that in a prior era, people would attach value to things using a different methodology than we do today. They would keep things because they were valuable or hard to replace, not because of sentiment, quite so much. In realistic historical fantasy, this is sometimes a stumbling block, though not always. (Kristoff losing his sleigh in Frozen could have been done so much better. At least they weren’t afraid to have people lose their gear in the movie.)

Use of small cues. This is a big one. Some people nowadays seem to want everything to be blatantly obvious and to avoid the search for small meanings and symbolism. This is the reason why some people hate character movies and characters like Obi-Wan Kenobi; they don’t see anything past the not-really-action of the movies or the character’s quiet, unassuming exterior. Forsaking dynamic characters for the sake of flash, some people end up creating Mary Sues.

However, I believe there are authors out there who do this really well (Brian Sanderson, Liam? I think I got that impression,) using small character cues, such as a slight movement, a nervous habit (such as fiddling with one’s sleeves) that recurs throughout the book, and tiny facial expressions that are left open for the readers to interpret to subtly build well-rounded, fleshed-out, dynamic characters. After a while, the reader becomes familiar with a repeated movement (“oh, Halt’s up to something; there’s the eyebrow!” “He’s reaching for his cuffs, even though he’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Poor kid.”) and learns to associate it with certain moods or actions. After a while, if you’ve seen The First Avenger, you get to recognize Steve Rogers’ nervous half-smile and distinguish it from his awkward smile, his stage smile, and the genuine article in Avengers. (Did anyone else notice how eerily similar Coulson’s non-offensive “I’m not a threat or even important to the plot at all; take no notice of me” half-smile is to Steve’s awkward smile? Since we know Steve better than we know Coulson, this tiny little fact, whether intentional brilliance on the part of Joss Whedon and whatsisname who plays Coulson or happy serendipity, tells us loads about Coulson as a character.)

Excessive stage drama queens. Basically, some characters just draw attention to themselves when they shouldn’t, detracting from the plot and being blatantly obvious (“don’t be obvious!”–>Moriarty’s best advice ever!), so much so that it’s sickening. This is just annoying. If it fits into the plot and the character, all well and good; it works! (This is why we actually can like Tony Stark.) But if not, then… then what’s the point? Seriously. All you have is an over-made-up actor who can’t even recite his lines properly. BORING. *shoots the wall* Sickening.

For me, most of what annoys me is blatantly obvious or lacking when it should be there. Of course, my pet peeves will be different from other people’s, but I think that all authors should try to improve their work based around these issues.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this listing of things I think are well-done but could be improved in fiction, thanks for reading and God bless you, as always, and don’t forget to drop by the other blogs on the chain through the rest of January! 😉


5th – http://whileishouldbedoingprecal.weebly.com/

6th – http://jasperlindell.blogspot.com/

7th – https://erinkenobi2893.wordpress.com/ (you are here) and http://nasrielsfanfics.wordpress.com/ (this would be Rosalie; I still need to read her post so now I’m done with mine I’m heading over to do that.)

8th – http://miriamjoywrites.com/

9th – https://ramblingsofaravis.wordpress.com/

10th – http://semilegacy.blogspot.com/

11th – http://kirabudge.weebly.com/

12th – http://thelittleenginethatcouldnt.wordpress.com/

13th – http://maralaurey.wordpress.com/

14th – http://dynamicramblings.wordpress.com/

15th – http://theedfiles.blogspot.com/

16th – https://horsfeathersblog.wordpress.com/  

17th – http://www.juliathewritergirl.com/

18th – http://butterfliesoftheimagination.wordpress.com/

19th – https://gallopingfree.wordpress.com/

20th – http://www.alwaysopinionatedgirl.wordpress.com/

21st – https://deborahrocheleau.wordpress.com/

22nd – http://irisbloomsblog.wordpress.com/

23rd – https://clockworkdesires.wordpress.com/

24th – https://introspectioncreative.wordpress.com/

25th – http://wanderinginablur.blogspot.com/

26th – https://anotefromthenerd.wordpress.com/

27th – http://randommorbidinsanity.blogspot.com

28th – http://unikkelyfe.wordpress.com/

29th – http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com/ (We’ll announce the topic for next month’s chain.)

(Hey, look! Rosalie and I share a day! Awesome. ^_^)

Why We Bash: A Defence of the Practice of “Bashing”

06 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

bashing, editing, internet, marvel, reviews, spiderman, writing

You know, the number of drafts in my pool is supposed to get lower as time goes on, but my numbers keep going up and up… what’s with that?

Recently, I’ve seen comments around the web by people who criticize criticism. They say things like “remember your decorum!” “cut them some slack!” “whatever happened to charity here?”

While I especially agree with the last one, this only goes out to a point. While I’m all for cutting slack for people (again with the love the sinner, hate the sin theme), there is a point when I have to say, “No. The hero has turned into the villain here. This is too far. Disowned!”

After all, these people and companies are in the public eye. They have a higher responsibility than the rest of us for giving scandal; if they give scandal, they tend to give it to millions more people than private persons give it to; even if you have a thousand friends on Facebook. And here, I’m also going to make a call to arms.

It is our responsibility to bash bad literature and poor movies. If we want a high standard in entertainment, we must let the entertainers know that, and an important way of doing that is partially through bashing.

However, it is equally important that we are even-handed and fair in our bashings. We have to keep it all in perspective, or we’ll end up with an enormous mess on our hands. Citizen journalism is a big thing. Thanks to new (and older) technologies, everyone is a critic. Everyone has someone’s ear; if not the “big people”‘s ears, then the ear of someone who has.

As Uncle Ben says, with great power comes great responsibility. (And fyi, Uncle Ben wasn’t actually referring to the fact that his nephew is Spiderman. Was that a spoiler? Whoops… *grins unrepentantly*) With the ability to access the Internet comes the ability (and perhaps the responsibility) to bash. And with this ability to bash comes the responsibility to be honest and fair. Because, if a bad review turns up on some website, it could ruin the writer/creator/filmmaker/owner, and if they don’t really deserve it, they’re hardworking people and nobody–I repeat, nobody–has time for that sort of nonsense.

So bash away, when the book is repulsive! Just be careful of what you bash, and why. 😉

Making Humor Work

05 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Story Dynamics, Uncategorized

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

brian jacques, c.s. lewis, captain america: the first avenger, creative writing, cressida cowell, editing, harping on an eyesore syndrome, how to train your dragon, humor, john flanagan, kung fu panda, looney tunes: back in action, marvel, marvel superheroes, nanowrimo, nanowrimo 2014, national novel writing month, oocs, out of character syndrome, perelandra, ranger's apprentice, redwall, spontaneous expedient character defamation syndrome, star wars, story dynamics, the avengers, the chronicles of narnia, the lego movie, the space trilogy, who framed roger rabbit, writing

I know, I know, it’s been forever. :-S Sorry about the long hiatus. I really have no excuse.

On to the post…


I don’t like some animated movies.

Yeah, I know. BIG surprise. But seriously, I don’t. Why?

Because the humor doesn’t work. Well, at least not for me. (My dad tends to laugh in these movies, so maybe it’s really a subjective thing…? Anyway, I don’t find them awfully funny.) Who Framed Roger Rabbit is probably the best example of this. The humor doesn’t work. (And who among us wasn’t completely mentally scarred by that stupid movie in early childhood, anyway?!) It’s a mixture of slapstick, poking fun at the characters, and innuendo. Even without the innuendo, to me it would be offensive. I much prefer the wry humor Halt uses in the Ranger’s Apprentice books. And the fun word-play and occasional mild slapstick that appears in the Redwall books.

When a movie does that, I like to call it Harping On An Eyesore Syndrome.

Some movies are, to me, a mix of playful and painful. Normally the ones that are the least painful also have the most heart, probably because they’re the ones that the filmmakers either 1) actually love or 2) know what they’re doing with.

In Kung Fu Panda, I found myself actually laughing at some of the gags, though some of them still got a blank stare from me. Brave and Tangled, the same, though I think Tangled really takes itself a bit too seriously. (Come on, Disney! You can’t have it both ways. Either keep your trademark irreverent humor, or make a “serious movie”.) Cars… do not even get me started on this movie.

The Lego Movie? I thought it would be totally stupid, but win.

How To Train Your Dragon? Absolute win.

Loony Tunes: Back in Action? Okay movie. Not my favorite. It was a blatant rip-off of spy movies and Indiana Jones, but unlike The Lego Movie, it didn’t click. I think it was trying to do too much.

Prince of Egypt? Okay, some of the humor slipped up, but mostly it was good.

So, why does some humor work but other humor doesn’t?

I think that there are a number of factors.

First of all, does the movie have “heart”? What do I mean by this? Well, in my opinion, I think this means are the characters really relatable? They can’t be just punching bags (unlike Jar Jar Binks… seriously, guys, the reason you and/or other people hate on him? It’s because he has no character development. He’s a talking, walking cardboard-or-rubber-or-both stand-up. And yes, that was pun intended.)

This leads well into my first point. The humor must be acknowledged by the characters. They must reply realistically to it, whether it’s in hurt, gamely taking the hit, or pretending not to respond while inwardly being cut deeply by the jab, even if it wasn’t intended to be insulting.

Secondly, if the humor helps to acknowledge a point of the plot, so much the better. It helps it mesh better with the rest of the story, and doesn’t poke out like an eyesore.

Some of the humor in movies like Kung Fu Panda and Captain America: The First Avenger is like this. It acknowledges the pure sucking-ness of the main character before they become awesome. However, it should never be overdone, because then instead of being humorous, the result is laughable. They make too light of a matter that’s all too serious for the main character and lose the audience while they’re at it. (The First Avenger did a marvelous job using this type of humor; it made us want to both laugh and cry at the same time. Perfection.)

Thirdly, humor can be a character’s lifeline. Rather than going stark raving insane… um, was that an unintentional Avengers pun? Never mind. Anyway. Rather than losing it, entirely and permanently, they can deal with it by making a joke. Some of these jokes are sad, but some can be pretty darn witty. (The First Avenger again. Also How To Train Your Dragon–though that’s more sarcasm than actual humor–and Kung Fu Panda, which also made me want to cry in parts.)

Finally, sometimes the characters will just make a joke unintentionally, or crack one on the aside, to keep a plot moving, so the audience doesn’t get bored. (The First Avenger. Par excellence.) My absolute favorite line in Perelandra is when Dr. Ransom slips up:

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, here goes–I mean, Amen!

So, bottom line?


1. Humor can help keep characters sane.

2. Humor meshes well if it’s used to acknowledge something (as in lampshading a plot oversight and making it into a joke) in most cases, but don’t overdo it. (Cars. ‘Nough said.)

3. Do not poke fun at your main characters for no reason, or you may end up sacrificing character development and making your entire book into a bad joke.

4. Absolutely no spontaneous expedient character defamation or out of character syndrome. Because that is not funny. Most of the time, not even in what is referred to as “crackfic.”

5. Some characters are just pretty darn funny (like Halt, Major Montgomery, Bucky, Cap, Arven, Gobber, Gonff, Edmund Pevensie, Dr. Elwin Ransom, and Sir Percy Blakeney) without even trying.

So, that’s my post on humor and how to and how not to use it. Good luck, Nanoers. 😉

Thanks for reading, God bless, and have a great day. 😀

Colorblind: Sample Chapter

19 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Story Dynamics, Tales of a Wandering Bard

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

creative writing, editing, fiction, first person point of view, novels, original work, point of view, psychological thriller, sample chapter, science fiction, story dynamics, writing

As requested by Professor V.J. Duke and icedmocha34, here it is. My latest endeavor, and my first attempt at sci-fi/psychological thriller. It’s also my first attempt at first person POV, so don’t expect it to be perfect. This isn’t the whole book, though, and be forewarned: It’s not even a “complete”, coherent short story, just a sample chapter. It will not explain itself. It’s only meant to whet your appetite…

That much said, carry on, brave reader. >:-D


Colorblind

Chapter I

                When you’re an amnesia victim, the only thing that’s certain is that life won’t be easy. Because when you have amnesia, nothing is certain.

For a victim of amnesia, life is full of uncertainties, undecided variables. Do you remember nothing of your past? Fragments? Up to a certain point? Or are you able to remember everything in your past, but are unable to form any new memories?

My past is a blank slate, one that won’t ever be written on. It’s hard when you can’t recall your childhood, when you don’t know who taught you to read, your parents, the little lessons you learned… the skills remain, but you can’t remember learning them. You can’t remember who taught you. Some days, I just stare blankly at the pages filled with my handwriting, which is familiar, and at the same time subtly wrong, as if it should be different, somehow.

There are other people in the support group, people who still have their families, the identities they have built up over the years. They tell me about the strange feeling they get when looking at photographs in the albums, pictures of them at places they can’t remember ever going; they tell me about similar happenings when a casual acquaintance who doesn’t know comes up to them and makes small talk, and their smiles remain frozen on their faces as they try to recall where they have met—and more difficult still, what their names are.

Myself, I can’t rely on any of that. I had to create myself, because when they found me I was alone. They’ve never been able to identify my family. I had nothing on me to tell who or what I was before. The first memory I have after waking up in the hospital is looking down at my personal effects. A polo shirt—a rusty brown color. Faded jeans. A belt. Nothing more. There was nothing in my pockets when I was found, battered and bruised and unconscious after being struck by a hit-and-run driver. They weren’t sure how long I lay there before I was found and rushed to the hospital, but it was long enough that I should not have survived.

Somehow, against the odds, I did survive.

Sometimes, I remember scraps—bits and pieces. A glimpse of color. A smell. The corner of the rain-washed sky, such a vibrant, lovely blue, with brilliant white, fluffy clouds scudding across it. The waving branches of trees. A chalkboard, with one equation written on it, that’s somehow significant, but I don’t know how or why.

Try as I might, I’ve never been able to find that equation elsewhere.

There are things lurking just beyond conscious thought, waiting for me to uncover them.

And then there are the dreams. Sometimes they’re simple flashes, like the memories. Sometimes they are simple words, isolated from both meaning and circumstance, sounding stilted and strange severed from both execution and consequence. “Anomaly” is one that comes back over and over again, with never an explanation. Sometimes they’re complex chains that I can never remember afterwards, though I can remember the impression that they were vivid, and complex. More than once, I have racked my brains and come back with nothing after such a dream. It is the most frustrating thing in the world, to feel that the mystery of your past is finally within your grasp, yet to feel it melting away, not fully comprehended. The second most frightening fate an amnesia victim has to face—every day—is the possibility that they might never remember.

The absolute most frightening is coming to terms with it.

“He forgot his umbrella today.”

The ceiling fans rotated slowly, moving the air around despite the fact that the temperature had dropped just after the downpour started. Outside, things were colored blue and gray and streaming watery, like half-finished watercolors sprinkled with vodka on a tilted canvas, but inside the colors were bright, well-coordinated, dominated by sunny lemon yellow; unusual for a coffee shop, but unsurprising, considering that the building had started life as a small café, before being bought by a different owner.

All eyes turned toward Nell, where she sat in her regular seat at the second of the two tables by the window. She, in turn, was gazing out the full-length windows that faced the sidewalk and street. Kara and Leslie shrugged it off and went back to their earnest conversation at their table in the corner, like the stereotypical pair of checker players in a country store; but Justine, though her expression remained bored and she did not look up from her newspaper, perked up enough to ask, “Who?”

Nell leaned her head sideways against the glass, the better to watch the blurred figure through the storm water streaming down the other side of the glass and the sheets of rain. “That man. He passes by here at exactly five-seventeen each day. I suppose he takes the bus home.” Justine shrugged, apathetically, and went back to her newspaper. Nell stared out the window with a slow sigh.

The figure was of medium height, its only distinguishable feature through the water-hazed glass. His features were a vague, indistinct smear of dark juxtaposed on light. Indeed, Nell had identified him by posture alone. He walked along the sidewalk in exactly the same way each day; now, at the end of summer and beginning of back-to-school madness, he carried the briefcase in one hand, the jacket he had worn in the morning slung across his other arm. He always walked upright, unusually so, giving the illusion that he was taller than he really was. His gait was much brisker than the other people traversing the sidewalk. Nell frowned. There was something vaguely different today, something that could not be attributed to just the rain…

Her train of thought was interrupted as the bell over the door jangled—someone really needs to tune that thing, Nell thought, wincing—and someone entered, accompanied by a gust of wind and veritable sheet of rain. The person had to throw all their weight against the door to close it again, despite the spring-loaded catch. The bell clanged again as the door closed, and the stranger stood inside, dripping on the patterned tile floor.

Before she looked, Nell knew instinctively that the person was the man she had been watching a moment ago. She stared at him, bored out of her mind, and thus interested in the smallest of details. Tousled brown hair plastered close to his head dripped onto his shoulders; his dress shirt was soaked through, the material becoming transparent and clinging to his skin. He was lean, not overly muscular, but looked slightly out-of-place in the formal outfit. The trousers had to be uncomfortable, as wet as they were. His thin, slightly angular face sparkled with water droplets; darkish eyelashes clung together over mild brown eyes.

Realizing that everyone was staring at him, he laughed, self-consciously. “The weather man is proven wrong, yet again,” he said, and walked up to the counter to order a hot chocolate, his shoes squeaking wetly and squishing with each step. All the eyes in the coffee shop followed him, some curiously, others absently. After waiting a few minutes, he received his drink and went to a corner to sit down. The others stared at him for a while longer, rudely, but eventually all of them went back to what they were doing. Nell finally looked away, uncertain as if she should say something or if she should leave the matter alone. At last, she decided to leave it alone. Eventually, the stranger finished his hot chocolate and got up and left the shop as a brief respite from the rain allowed him to exit, still only partly damp.

“How are you doing today, Connor?” Mr. Aglana asked. I sat up very straight in the chair, hands folded on my lap, my postured correct, but guarded and tense. There was something about him that always made me uncomfortable, put me on my guard.

“Very well, sir,” I replied. Perhaps it was the office. The décor had always seemed ostentatious, yet at the same time, depressing to me. The colors were all dark, the upholstery ornate. A huge painting in a gilt frame adorned the wall behind the desk, but I could not distinguish any details. I had never been able to see the painting. It had always been in shadow from the draperies. I tried to keep from glancing around, instead gazing fixedly at a spot a little to the left of Mr. Aglana’s balding head.

“And how was your week?” I fought the urge to fidget or shrug.

“Uneventful,” I said, casually. In the silence, I could distinctly hear every sound in the room. The soft wuff-hiss of the air conditioning. The soft squeaking of Mr. Aglana’s fine office chair as he leaned forward. The dynamic rap-tap-tap as he drummed his fingers lightly on the desk. He eyed me with some asperity.

“You know that won’t do, Connor,” he said.

“The job… is going fine,” I said, haltingly. Somehow, I felt uncomfortable, discussing my life—my private life, what was left of it—with Mr. Aglana. “I began two more articles but for some reason I can’t access the business search engine from the apartment any more. I’ve had to do all my research from the office. Everyone is doing their best to not pressure me too much—thank you for that, sir—” I did owe him that much—“and Mr. Clark said he’d move the deadline back, due to the fact that the Wi-Fi in the apartment is acting up again.”

“What about your personal life?” Mr. Aglana pressed. I shook my head.

“I still haven’t made any friends yet,” I said. Mr. Aglana raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want to tell anyone I have amnesia,” I said, unwillingness almost choking me. “I don’t want pity. I want people to interact with me normally. Still, I’m too—too—”

“Socially awkward?” Mr. Aglana put in. I opened my motuh. The words sounded like they should be right, yet they felt so inescapably wrong, as if there was something off, something that I was missing. I wracked my memory for the word I was searching for, then settled for a simple nod when I couldn’t locate it.

Well, it was close enough, anyway.

Seemingly satisfied, Mr. Aglana rose and offered me his hand, and I took it. As always, his grip was not very firm, and his hand was icy. Strangely enough, as my fingers touched his, a chilly current ran through me, like a cold thrill. Something buried deep in my psyche strained for the surface; I grasped desperately at it.

Bright lights in my eyes, making it hard to see. I blinked. Snatches of a conversation, not meant for me or directed at me. “Failed—try one more time—” Pain. I struggled, fighting against unseen demons seeking to drag me down. Something—there was something I needed to see—to hear—to remember. Scraps of a face, bits and bytes incoherently blended, broken apart. Something raked across my memory. I fought. I didn’t fight long. Oblivion.

I blinked, and the flash was gone. Mr. Aglana’s secretary was already escorting me out.


Meh. Why do I always label my chapters with Roman numerals? It’s certainly not intentional, to look classy… hmm.

Who cares, anyway!?

Book Review: “Ranger’s Apprentice Series Book One: The Ruins of Gorlan” by John Flanagan

09 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

book reviews, characters, editing, humor, j.r.r. tolkien, john flanagan, long rants, lord of the rings, ranger's apprentice, reviews, writing

Where to begin…

Okay, let’s start with the fan-rave.

First of all, I have been back and forth over the entire length of Wilderland, and I have never encountered characters quite like those of Ranger’s Apprentice. (Cookies for everyone who gets the reference in that sentence. And not the follow-your-computer-creeper kind, the yummy kind… only they’re virtual. Sorry.)

By order of appearance (Morgarath, you aren’t eligible, since you’re a villain):

  • Will. Will is the main character, and it’s basically his coming-of-age story. However, Will is the sort of person (rather like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon) who has to fight to be a hero. It doesn’t come naturally to him. What does come naturally to him?
    Curiosity. Friendship. And, often getting him into trouble, intuition, a quick mind, and a sharp tongue.
    Will isn’t your average fearless fantasy hero. He gets jittery at times, all right. He has a hyperactive imagination. And, when he’s under pressure, he snaps at people, sometimes very bitingly indeed. He’s a bright boy, but he needs a guiding hand, and he’s nearing the age when he has to leave the life of a castle ward. Deep down inside, I think that Will is plagued by the feeling that he’s useless, and more than anything else, he needs a purpose in life.
    Will is an orphan, but that didn’t define his character; it was merely part of his backstory and gave Will’s character depth without dominating his character. This is especially incredible, seeing that orphaning your characters is often a path directly to the realm of the Mary Sue. Will is an orphan, but there is much more to him than just that.
    (I refer to Will, Gilan, Jack Frost, Obi-Wan, Garen, Hiccup, Peter Pan, John Watson, Merlin, and the collective heroes of several of my stories as “my boys.” Being one of “my boys” guarantees getting hugged a lot, and used for an example in blog posts frequently. Several characters from Lord of the Rings would be “my boys” too, but they’re all too mature and dignified. 😉 )
  • Horace. The Ruins of Gorlan isn’t just Will’s coming of age story. It’s also Horace’s. Horace was an orphan and castle ward alongside Will, and he and Will consistently picked on each other throughout their respective childhoods. However, Horace isn’t an archetype bully. Battleschool helps Horace to reach his potential, and also partially takes away his enmity toward Will, and they leave their differences behind them and become friends after saving each other’s lives.
    Though Will and Horace are roughly the same age, it’s hard to always remember that. Sometimes, seeing that Horace is so much taller and broader than Will, people assume that Horace is much older, and the audience occasionally thinks that as well. And when Will mouths off at Horace, you get the impression that he’s the elder. However, Will isn’t actually “more mature” than Horace at the beginning of the book. They’re equals, but in different ways, if that makes sense.
  • Halt. Oh. My. Goodness. I’ve bitten off more than I can chew here, I think. How to describe Halt?
    Well, Halt… is Halt. He’s taciturn and strong-willed, and does not bare his heart to anyone, ever. He never says exactly what he means when it comes to how he feels; you have to read between the lines.
    Halt is his own person. He has his own style. And I think that frankly, whichever actor who they picked to play him getting the character down would be the biggest roadblock they’d come across if they ever tried to make the series into a movie.
    Halt, as Gandalf or Mr. Beaver would say, isn’t safe, but he is trustworthy. And that’s probably the best way anyone will ever come up with to describe him.
  • Tug. No, Tug isn’t a person. He’s Will’s pony. (If you make a Brony joke in the comments, I will find you. But you won’t see me. You won’t even know I’m there, until I brain you with my frying pan, and you’d better count yourself lucky I wasn’t using my bow.) Ranger horses are a breed apart, as Horace remarks toward the end of the book. They’re extremely intelligent, loyal, and brave animals, even if they are on the small side.
    Tug isn’t just a horse, though. He has a personality, and a mind of his own. Not that he ever rebels against what Will wants to do, he just has opinions. And, like Bill, the pony from Lord of the Rings, he shares them.
    Ranger horses are trained to communicate with their riders when someone or something else is approaching, to only allow people they know to mount them, and to stay where their riders tell them to. Each Ranger horse has a code word that basically asks for the horse’s permission before they accept a new rider, as Will finds out the first time he mounts–or tries to mount–Tug. Without a polite “Do you mind?”, Tug will just buck you off. And Tug is fast. Tug would give his life to protect Will. It’s not surprising that, after a while, Rangers start to hold whole conversations with their horses, is it?
  • Baron Arald. (Okay, this one is out of order, but cut me some slack!) The Baron of Redmont Fief is a kindly man who loves a good joke, but unfortunately for him, everyone always seems to take him seriously. If only the common folk of his fief would realize that he was only joking!
  • Gilan. Gilan, or Gilan Davidson as I’ve heard him referred to, was Halt’s first apprentice, and a rarity among the Rangers; not only does he use the two knives and the bow, but also a long sword. Gilan often acts flippant, but under that humorous exterior, he is always thinking ahead and watching out for danger. (If you’ve heard me talk about Xanatos as a good character rather than a villain, or if you’ve read certain stories with a good version of Xanatos, you’ll have a good idea of what Gilan is like, but only what he is like. You have to read the books to actually get Gilan. Frankly, Gilan, Tug, Halt, and Will are all contenders for the title of my favorite character of all time. Gilan is the only one of “my boys” who doesn’t try to push me away or act shocked when I hug him. Which makes him very good to cry on, as well. 😛 )

Now, for the story. While the Wargals are basically just hairy versions of orcs and the Kalkarra might be likened to the Nazgul (I, however, think the Kalkarra are more like the Balrog), this story isn’t just a rip-off of the Lord of the Rings. For instance, the Wargals are far more primitive than orcs and are completely dependent on Morgarath’s will to act. On their own, if they have no motivation, they will mill about harmlessly. But more than that, the story centers about Morgarath’s desire for revenge on certain people, the ones who were most instrumental in thwarting his takeover before. Since it has not been thousands of years since his previous attempt to take over, his revenge is more direct and immediate than a general desire to wipe out the Heir of Isildur and break the back of Elendil’s line. Much of the story, however, deals with Will’s training and his and Horace’s struggles with the common problems all young people face while growing up. The final third of the book, though, is a satisfying package as the hunters become the hunted and, despite their fears, the central cast of the book go after the Kalkarra. (No spoilers!)

Much of the story is driven forward by the interaction between the characters (which is as it should be, but sadly, in so many works, often isn’t), and there are drawbacks and consequences if we lose, and the battle isn’t determined only by the central factors. By this, I mean there are factors outside the control of either combatant, and they do play in, which is all too rare in much of fantasy. There are setbacks, and some setbacks are caused by the characters’ mistakes; actions have consequences and so on.

On the other hand, there are a few moments in which the heroes get rather brutal, but I think that that is understandable, if not acceptable; Halt lives in a harsh world, and he wants the other characters to be able to survive in it as well.

The humor is clean, and unexpected. I found myself laughing out loud several times while reading the book, which I normally don’t do. I chuckle and giggle; I don’t laugh aloud much.

After reading the book twice, there are a few problems with John Flanagan’s writing that I noticed. For instance, there were a few confusing shifts in the point of view he was using (ex., leaping from Will’s thoughts to Halt’s in a rather distracting manner), and there were a few elements that were not tied in as well as I would have liked, but all in all, the book was a good read. And, for those of you considering reading the series, don’t let those problems turn you off! They virtually disappear by the next book, The Burning Bridge. And the series does get better as you go along. *wink* *wink*

The one thing that really bugs me is (small spoiler!) Will and Alyss’s kiss at the end. If you read the first book alone, it just doesn’t seem to belong. In the context of the series, it fits in well enough, but I still think it could have been integrated better.

The only sad thing about this book and series is that it is so freaking hard to even attempt fanfiction with it. (Those among you who read this blog often will know that I am an avid writer and connoisseur of all things fanfic, especially song fiction and dark one-shot AUs.) All the loose ends are generally tied up very neatly, and it’s hard to envision, sometimes, what they’d be doing outside the confines of the books. It does, however, offer up some marvelous tidbits that would make for wonderful character-examining one-parters. (Such as the scene at the end of The Kings of Clonmel… *sobs*) The sad thing about Ranger’s Apprentice fanfiction is that, since it’s a young reader’s series, the majority of the fanfiction often ends up populated by one-dimensional OCs, or worse, Mary Sues. Some of it doesn’t even get Will’s way of thinking and personality right, and that is, to me, pretty much unforgivable. It’s sad. Even sadder are the stories where everything bad happens to Will and it really breaks him down and completely takes him out of character. Those stories just don’t make sense to me. (I’m not a fan of one-man-against-the-world fanfiction, in case you didn’t know that. Especially when it comes to Ranger’s Apprentice, which is, as I’ve noted before, very much driven by characters’ interaction and friendship.) There are even *shudders* Halt haters out there. How is such a thing possible, I ask you?!

However, there are a few people out there who write marvelous shorts for it.

I’m going to shut up now.

So, the overall verdict is:

  • Marvelous characterization
  • Incredible handling of otherwise-overused plots and elements, turning them over into something unexpected and brilliant
  • Well-written character interaction
  • A generally bright (non-depressing) atmosphere
  • Lovely humor
  • Setbacks are used effectively
  • Some moments which I would rate PG-13, but fortunately the morality is absolute and not protagonist-centered *throws up* Protagonist centered morality… yuck.
  • A few writing/editorial errors, but nothing that warrants stopping reading in my opinion.

I definitely recommend reading the books. While they are not by any means giants of fantasy, they are well worth reading.

The Scribbler Award

09 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Story Dynamics, Uncategorized

≈ 51 Comments

Tags

award, characters, editing, editor, kysherin, muse, selay'uu, story dynamics, writer, writing

I was awarded this one the same day as the Sunshine Award, but I decided to space them out a bit. 😉 I was awarded by Tara Therese; thanks, Tara! 🙂

So, the rules are to link to your favorite writing blog, share your favorite writing tip, or do both, and then pass the award along to up to five more people. (I’m doing both.) My best hint for writing would have to be to do it with a friend. It helps. My other favorite tip is that you should never, never, trust a typo turkey, no matter how many interesting names the misspellings crank out. Sooner or later it WILL betray you… Mostly kidding. Really, I think that when you’re telling a story, you should know your characters. (Sometimes it helps to get friends and roleplay random, even mundane, things as your characters. Even when you don’t think they’re getting it right, it helps; you’ll know where the pitfalls are and how to avoid them. Maybe even have conversations with your characters in your head… which is how Selay’uu got started, by the way.) It’s the characters who drive the story and keep your readers reading. They’re there. Use them to the best advantage. Know them well. Be true to your characters, and they will never betray you.

Since I awarded five people yesterday, I’m going to try nominating five different people today, so the awards get spread around more. Sound fair? 🙂

And now, I wish to nominate:

Proverbs31teen, because superheros and Bible trivia at one site and writing stuff at another! ;-D Though technically, as this is a writing award, I suppose I’ll notify her at her writing blog… 😛

PorterGirl, because I haven’t ever nominated her before.

Professor V.J. Duke, because of punchiness and dadblamery! X-D

Sarah, because she posts awesome lists!

Bessie Lark (whose blog is now read by invitation only, so maybe you’ll be able to ask her permission in the comments? 😉 ), because she’s an awesome writer and knows how I feel when I complain about an unruly muse (hers ships Kiliel, while she doesn’t–Kysherin ships Obidala, and I don’t, mainly because except in certain majorly alternate universes it’s pretty unrealistic to me. Besides, I like writing Obi-Wan for the character, not for any romance or shipping. 😉 My OTP, for those who are wondering, is most likely Arthur/Gwen in BBC Merlin, because they’re adorable and so sweet together, and Gwen knows how to put Arthur in his place when he’s being obnoxious! X-P)

Congratulations, everyone. 😀

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

Archivist of Selay’uu’s Journal: Internship In Camelot

03 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by erinkenobi2893 in Living Life with Passion, Tales from Selay'uu, Tales of a Wandering Bard, Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

archives, archivist, bbc merlin, c.s. lewis, camelot, camp nanowrimo, camp nanowrimo july 2014, desks, editing, editor, kysherin, muse, nanowrimo, national novel writing month, paperwork, selay'uu, star wars, the chronicles of narnia

It has taken me a while to write, once more, and I apologize. I have had college to apply for, and Nanowrimo (which, by the way, I WON! 😀 ) to finish, and job applications to work on. Fortunately, there is a “schedule” function on WordPress, and I have lots of random things handy to post. My drafts folder is like my mind; full of partially-completed work, and extremely cluttered and mixed-up.

Once again, I find myself wondering just how my life got this crazy. And I respond to it in exactly the same way as always: I mull over the question for a while, then I decide it’s all Kysherin’s fault. And when I look in the mirror and see my reflection–messy chestnut/auburn curls, dark eyes, square jawline–I decide it’s really not worth it to try and look more impressive. Or put on makeup. I don’t understand why most girls my age wear it.

This morning, I was looking at my books again–my personal books, not the ones in the library/archives–and found a proposal I had begun only recently, but had also recently forgotten. It was a proposal for me to visit Camelot and explore my new-found magical abilities and study with Merlin, Alice, and Gaius. Unfortunately, it had gotten rather crinkled (paper tends to do that when it is lying on a shelf under Anakin’s rock collection–why it was on my shelf may some day be explained–or not…) in its time in hiatus. I groaned and got out a new sheet of paper, picking up Anakin’s rock collection and shoving it under the leg of my desk. Perhaps I should explain. My desk is rather old-fashioned. It is large, with several drawers, full to the brim with stuff. Most of it is orderly (my pens, pencils, mechanical pencils, mechanical pencil refill leads and erasers, vinyl erasers, etc. are sorted in a valet tray in one drawer,) but the one largest drawer–which, by rights, should contain electronics, but instead holds a bunch of old three-ring-binders, each shedding pieces of plastic from their covers, which are held together with duct tape and most of which are mislabeled–is decidedly untidy. I should get around to overhauling it some time. Anyway, my desk is very old. In fact, it’s an exact duplicate of one my father brought home when he was switching jobs when I was very small (just without the same contents.) It is dark, mahogany-colored wood, but the stain and varnish are wearing off in places, and if you scratch the varnish with your fingernail it starts to flake off in an unpleasant-feeling powder. The “legs” of the desk, which, I suspect, have been extended upwards to accommodate my father’s height (he’s a tall man, and I take after him,) are mostly drawers, and the desk is clearly designed to go right up against a wall (I should get Jay to help me with that…) but there is a space in between the bottom drawer on the “leg” and the actual foot of the desk, that rests on the floor. It was covered by a piece of wood, originally, but due to mishandling by the movers and mistreatment by us kids, the pins or staples holding the cover in place gave way, leaving me with a compartment that I can hide things in by pulling the piece of wood off, shove stuff I want to hide into, and then push the pins lightly back into their holes. It’s very convenient.

Anyway, so I pushed Anakin’s rock collection into my hidden compartment (which was, at the moment, empty, though much of the time it’s as full of random stuff as a first draft that needs editing, or a G.A. Henty novel sprung up, grown wild, and gone to seed.) and found two pieces of loose paper and went to work, copying my proposal neatly out twice and completing it. I thought about email, but something of this importance required El’ye’s permission (I still have not figured out why), and she didn’t like modern innovations, though Merlin would have been comfortable with a simple email with the proposal attached. Immortality necessitates being very adaptable, I believe. Which is a bit of a paradox, since I think El’ye is at least a pretender to immortality.

Anyway, after checking my drafts over, I went to my window (living in a tower is quite delightful, by the way, though the people on laundry duty always complain about the stairs) and shouted for Kilgarrah. He was not very happy at being shouted for, and still more annoyed about carrying my mail (“I am not a mail horse, young recorder!”), but as I am on good terms with Merlin (who is currently spending what remains of the summer in Camelot), he condescended to carry my message to the young warlock with a bad grace. That done, I whistled for Glimfeather, who came much more briskly and cheerfully than Kilgarrah had. I was politer to him than I had been with the dragon (Kilgarrah doesn’t like me much, and the feeling is mutual; the dragon is too self-centered and survival-centered and Machiavellian for my taste), and Glimfeather kindly agreed to carry my message to El’ye. So far, so good.

With a much heavier heart, I returned to my piles upon piles of paperwork. At least, hopefully, by the end of the summer I would be serving an internship in Camelot for the term (though I would be in and out of the Selay’uu chateau all the time.) I can hardly wait!

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