Silliness, Part Two

Tags

bbc merlin, completely random posts, confusing nonsense, extremely random posts, humor, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, rambling musings, randomness, silliness, the chronicles of narnia, the hobbit, the lord of the rings

Does anyone remember A Random Story, that silly take-a-turn writing piece I did back in January with two friends to pass the time as we headed back from the March for Life?

Well, here’s some more! With thanks to everyone at Mockingjay14’s birthday party. (The first part is mine, the second is Iris‘… it was her sister’s birthday party, anyway. 😉 ) Everyone took a turn at writing a little more onto a story, and each paragraph represents a different writer. Enjoy the silliness!

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Once upon a time in a room full of dead ferns a man in black rose from purple moss and strode purposefully away. He threw a black sword into the black air with a black scowl and proclaimed, “WOOF!”

No, really, that wasn’t what he actually said… what he actually said was, “I summon thee, Dark One,” after which a cloaked figure appeared. The man was surprised by the Dark One’s short stature, and when he threw back his cloak, he turned out to be…

Bilbo in disguise! He was quite grumpy because he had lost all of his pocket-handkerchiefs. He had been searching for one when he had…

fallen down a cliff, meanwhile hitting his head, passing out, and rolled into the purple moss. He happened to be allergic to it, so…

his whole face swelled up, and he began to notice that it was becoming hard to breathe. So, he threw himself down, and took a nap.

Then, when he woke up, he suddenly felt an urge to eat circus peanuts when he saw…

an elephant who wanted peanuts as well. The elephant said, “I DON’T LIKE PURPLE!”

Bilbo ran away from the elephant because it was scaring him, but it chased him! Then a flying figure appeared above Bilbo. It was…

Fledge, with Merlin, Frodo, and Cor and Corin on his back and all of them were having a huge argument. Bilbo and everyone else…

decided to get as far away as possible. On the way, they ran into Tauriel. She saw Bilbo and said, “Aww, you poor little hobbit. Here, let me help.” Then she healed Bilbo, and they set off for the Shire. But if they ever got there or not, we’ll never know.

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Author’s note: Erm… sorry about this. It’s been in my drafts for months. About five months, in fact. Apparently I lost it in my drafts–you’re just super fortunate I finally found it again. Always good for a laugh, right?

Thanks for reading, and God Bless! (Merry Christmas!)

 

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Two Stories (And A Spider)

Tags

college, extremely random posts, humor, insanity, life, rambling musings, real life, science, selay'uu (sort of), small rants, stories, yes this really happened

The title is in tribute to Professor V.J. Duke, who suggested that I post on this. It seemed only natural to make the title Punchy-ish, to me. 😉

Now, to get on to what I am really posting about.

I am sorry I have been so absent recently. It’s really a matter of college (which, I think, secretly wants to eat my soul, as I mentioned to the Professor earlier today.) But anyway, something that’s actually fit to print (or rather, two somethings, as the case proved) happened starting on Wednesday and ending on Friday.

On Friday morning, I had been innocently going about my business at my horticulture class, and I saw a daylily (hemercallis spp.) with an actual seed pod on it. Our daylilies at home look something like a cross between a regular lily and a firecracker. (Added to that, they’re a vibrant orange.) They actually have double petals, which is a hybrid thing, which is probably why I never saw them ever actually setting fruit.

Anyway, I thought that if I could get enough daylily seeds, maybe I could start them and grow some daylilies myself. The instructor did mention they would be easy to breed. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, as it turns out, I had a stowaway.

Hidden in one of the seedpods was a fat, round brown spider about the size of a large pea or a petite blueberry. And it must have been happy in my pocket–it was nice and warm, after all.

Anyway, I get home and I want to change after spilling something on my pants, so I take off my jeans and put on a skirt, and I go to take the daylily seeds out of my pocket, and while I’m at it, I feel something fuzzy and withdraw my hand. Oh look! It’s brown and a lot bigger than the other seeds… AUGH! It’s moving!

I jerked my hand away (I didn’t scream, though–you would be proud of me, beloved readers!) and picked up my jeans, holding them at arm’s length; took them to an area of the house with linoleum, and collected a clear plastic cup and a piece of card stock. Then, I move to flush the spider out of the pocket. However, by now the spider has moved to the waistband of the jeans, so I edge him off with the cup and onto the linoleum, trap him, slide my card stock under him, and my mother helps me take him outside.

Mission accomplished.

(Then I went back inside and did a bit of research to make sure I was not harboring a brown recluse *shudders* in my pocket, but that bit of the story is less glorious, so I’m leaving it out. 😉 )

The other story, which began on Wednesday, is a bit more puzzling, and it’s open ended to boot.

On Wednesday, my horticulture class was out and about, identifying plants for practice, and we had just gotten to the purple wintercreeper when I saw a pretty red berry in the foliage. I leaned down and picked it up. One of the boys from my class said, “Look, a snack!” I said, “I don’t think it is safe to eat,” and showed it to the instructor, who confirmed that it was probably from the nightshade family. The boy took it and offered it to me. “Enjoy.”

Two Days Later…

On Friday, I went back to the class and had a good time with some new friends I made. However, as we were all admiring the ‘Husker Red’ penstemon, the same boy offered me a mushroom of some unidentified type.

I think he’s making a habit of jokingly offering me things that may or may not be poisonous, but is he just being silly… or is he flirting?

What do you think?

Thanks for dropping by today, and God Bless!

Pirates and Writers and Bedsocks, Oh My!: The Sunshine Award

Tags

a tale of two cities, arthur ransome, award, baroness emma orczy, bbc merlin, bbc sherlock, being christian, bible, blogging, brian jacques, c.s. lewis, castaways of the flying dutchman, catholic culture, charles dickens, christianity, college, doctor who, g.a. henty, humor, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, john flanagan, lord of the rings, madeleine l'engle, randomness, ranger's apprentice, redwall, robert louis stevenson, roman catholic, sherlock holmes, sir arthur conan doyle, small rants, space trilogy, star trek, star wars, swallows and amazons, the chronicles of narnia, the scarlet pimpernel, time quintet, treasure island, who framed roger rabbit

I hope you are having a bright and happy day. Because this is a bright and happy picture. And I finally figured out how to insert a picture into a post without downloading it onto my computer! Yay me!

Anyway, Proverbs31teen has awarded me with the Sunshine Blog Award. Which is rather unexpected, ’cause the only award I’ve ever received before was the Liebster. (Four or five times, now. I’ve lost count. :-P) For this one, the rules are rather simple. Five facts about you, answering five questions, setting up five more questions, and nominating five other bloggers. From what I can tell, you don’t have to really nominate people with a certain number or less or more than a certain number of followers for this one, so this should be much easier. *crosses fingers, hoping she didn’t just jinx herself*

First of all, the five facts:

1. I snarked above, but unless your computer is not functioning correctly you probably can’t see it. MWAHAHAHAHAH.
2. Apparently my sense of humor is somewhat impaired; my dad thinks Who Framed Roger Rabbit is hilarious and I don’t even find it remotely funny. (All joking aside, if you don’t want your childhood permanently ruined and your innocence prematurely stolen, do not watch that movie! It is evil incarnate!)
3. Hot dogs, bratwurst, and fish fillets all taste different when eaten on a bun. Which raises the question, how much of the taste of your hot dog is the actual hot dog, and how much of it is the disgusting stuff they bake into the bun (and in the hot dog, too, if you bought the cheap ones)?
4. Apparently you have to send your information into this college’s website several times before it accepts you… *sigh*
5. As you can probably tell, my life is defined by job searching and college prep at this point.

And now, to answer the five questions…

1. You’ve got one day left of your life. What would you want to do? I think I would like to go to Mass with all my friends, and maybe meet a few of the people I know on the Internet whom I’ve never met in real life, and spend the rest of the day with my family.
2. Pirates or ninjas, and why? I’m told this is a “thing” now… I’m going with Sherlock on this one. Pirates, I think. Mainly because I mostly don’t know about ninjas, except that they make really popular Halloween costumes, and my only experience of ninjas is really from “Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu” (GO ZANE!), which is probably kind of sad, come to think of it… Besides, on the side of the pirates, I’m a big fan of Robert Louis Stevenson.
3. If you were turned into one of the Avengers, which one would you be most like? Some people I’ve talked to said Captain America. Others said Bruce Banner. I have never seen the Avengers movie, so I don’t really know.
4. What are your top three favorite Bible characters, and why? Oooh, John the Baptist, Moses, and Paul. (Our Lord TOTALLY goes without saying! And the actual apostles!!!) I’m sticking with more “secondary” characters, though, because, well, these people didn’t get much hype compared to the main players. Anyway, all three of them were amazing men who were rather outspoken but very courageous, and each had a message to get out. Moses is awesome because he’s a prefigurement of Christ, John got beheaded for telling Herod “no, you can’t marry your brother’s wife!” (and he also was preparing the world for Christ’s coming!), and Paul was a tireless preacher of the Gospel. (What is it with me and people who were beheaded? *smacks head against wall* Smooth, Erin, real smooth…)
5. (I’m going to be evil, too) What is your favorite book? Do you mean right-now-favorite, long-time favorites, or all-time favorites? (I have a lot…) Of course, the Bible goes without saying. 😉 For all-time favorites (drum roll, please!) it’s a tie between C.S. Lewis’ The Last Battle and Lord of the Rings. I love The Last Battle for its beauty, apocalyptic feel, the resonances with the Book of Revelation (or Apocalypse, which is a totally better name in my opinion!) For shortness’ sake, though, I normally just say “LOTR FOREVAR!” and leave it at that. Probably ’cause LotR has about ten times as many pages… Long-time favorites? All the Sherlock Holmes books, Baroness Emma Orczy’s The Scarlet Pimpernel and its sequels (and Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, because I can’t very well forget Sydney Carton when we’re in the French Revolution, can I?!),  Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons books, Brian Jacques’ Redwall (and Castaways of the Flying Dutchman, which probably would top this list if I were seriously counting,) C.S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy and Chronicles of Narnia (in fact, anything by Lewis), Madeleine L’Engle’s Time Quintet (I think that I like Madeleine L’Engle’s stuff because it reminded me of Lewis, and I have always loved Lewis), and the works of G.A. Henty (though sometimes I just want to re-write the endings because it would have been TOTALLY better with a different happily-ever-after GAH!). For my right-now-absolute-favorite? John Flanagan’s Ranger’s Apprentice series. (YAY GILAN! AND HALT! AND WILL!!!) What can I say? I couldn’t live without books…

Finally, for my five questions:

1. If you had to choose between the Doctor, Sherlock, Merlin, Luke Skywalker, Matthias, Jim Hawkins, and Sir Percy Blakeney to go on an unexpected and otherwise completely unpredictable adventure with, who would you choose?
2. Who would you be more likely to say “You’re weird!” (complete with exclamation point) to: Obi-Wan, Anakin, Sherlock, Watson, the Doctor, Merlin, or Halt? (If you would be most likely to say “You’re weird!” to Halt, then you have my undying respect. Either you are very brave, or just plain crazy.)
3. Do you wear socks to sleep in? (You’d better bet your fluffy bedsocks you do, young’un, wot?!)
4. What is the best plot you’ve ever had that originated in a dream? (Yes, a sleeping dream. Daydreams don’t qualify. Sorry, Sir Percy.)
5. Have you ever been to Boston in the fall?

And now, I hereby wish to nominate:

Iris, because she’s awesome and encouraging and clever and reckless and everything a best friend forever should be!

Liam, because I couldn’t hit him with any Liebster awards. >:-D (If you were wondering about exactly how many times I’ve received the Liebster award, now, it’s four.)

Rachel Carrerra, because her work is amazing!

Shiekiah, because she deserves it and has written amazing stuff and draws amazing art and I really wanted to say thank-you-for-the-awesome-Bound-to-the-Flame-commissions 😉

Coruscantbookshelf (aka Rosalie), because she got me started blogging in the first place. 🙂

Thanks for reading this post all the way to the end. Thanks for nominating me, Proverbs31teen! Have a great day, everyone, and God Bless!

The Upstairs Archives Blog Birthday!

Tags

anniversary, blog birthday, blogging, celebrations, coruscantbookshelf, friends, insanity, iris, selay'uu, selay'uu (sort of)

Hello, my dear readers!

I’m posting for something very special today. Yes, it’s the blog’s birthday!

One year ago, I started this blog to connect to my friends who blog. I wanted to put my stories where people could read and enjoy them. One year ago, this post started it all.

And now, one year later, I look back in awe at all that’s happened.

1. Incredible amounts of insanity has been shared.
2. This blog has gained Allies!
3. Tales (such as Bound to the Flame and The Hero’s Dream) have been told.
4. Selay’uu was launched, to much acclaim, and (hopefully) evoking much laughter.
5. Last but not least, I began to figure out how to use html shortcuts, and learned that there is no real substitute for experimentation when it comes to the Internet (so long as one does not say something unforgivable, or forget one’s manners.) Also, I began to learn how to use the blogger’s key tools, such as scheduling, saving drafts, categories, tagging, and how to set posts as password protected (though I have not tried it.)
6. Erin-isms, such as typo turkeys, plot cobras, and poison ink were introduced to the world.
7. I got my hair cut. (This has nothing to do with the blog, but it sure makes me look different.)

But for a celebration, I’m not quite sure what to do… Perhaps you all can help me decide. 😉

Now, for the “State of the Archives” address. ;-P

Statistics are as follows:

Seven (7) Pages

Two hundred six (206) Posts

Two thousand, six hundred thirty-five (2635) Comments

Five thousand, eight hundred four (5,804) Views

Approximately five hundred four (504) Likes

One hundred thirty-one (131) Followers

And finally, I’d like to thank everyone who helped me to get to where I am now.

Coruscantbookshelf (aka Rosalie), who introduced me to WordPress in the first place.

Iris, who was forever encouraging (Also my BFF IRL!) and one of my long-time readers, even though she didn’t get her own blog or WordPress account until recently.

Professor V.J. Duke, who was crazy when I needed craziness (and Punchiness!) in my life.

PorterGirl, who helped and encouraged me to get the Selay’uu section of the blog started.

There are lots of others (if your name isn’t on this list, don’t worry, it’s probably on my “Allies” page 😉 ), so don’t be offended; I just named the people I could think of at the moment.

Morality Sans Preachiness

Tags

author, avoiding preachiness, characters, completely random posts, confusing nonsense, editor, insanity, muse, small rants, story dynamics, writer, writing

In modern writing, there is one big no-no, above every other taboo, except, perhaps, a poorly-thought-out plot or out-of-character characters (see Out of Character Syndrome or OOCS), and that is sounding preachy. Whatever your authorly stance on controversial issues, you must never, ever preach. Nothing sends readers running for the hills like a sanctimonious bludgeoning of preachiness thinly disguised as a story. For one thing, authors of such tripe rarely take the time to actually write a story instead of just a sermon. Your story should not be a story with a moral, it should be a story that “just happens” to have a moral. It takes talent and practice to write a story that happens to have a moral. The moral should not be the be-all and end-all of the story–rather, it should rise gradually, organically, from the rest of the tale.

But the simplest way of putting morals and morality into your story without sounding preachy can and should be easy. (Mind, I didn’t say simple–just simplest.) Simply put, neither should you as the narrator intrude on the story to preach, nor should your characters. They should not–unless it is absolutely necessary to the story–ever state their moral code, but it should be abundantly clear by their actions that they do have one. This is the very heart of good writing. Also, if the moral code in your story is ever stated, hypocrisy will become a very serious offense in your reader’s eyes. It can be used in order to create hate for a given character in your readers, and can cause a serious “alignment check.” Which means, your character may be on a fast road to the Dark Side, even if it’s only in your reader’s eyes; what your readers see is everything to them. It’s better to manipulate those emotions than it is to have those emotions slip out and betray you, which is why it’s also important to check back a couple times on what your readers will be thinking, and what they should be thinking.

To recap, your characters should not preach; they should not say “right” or “wrong” unless it’s necessary to the plot. Rather, make it clear by their actions that they are good people.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless! Love all you wonderful people. 😉

Allowed in Writing, Forbidden in Editing

Tags

author, authors, c.s. lewis, confusing nonsense, description, dumas, editor, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, life, living life unexpectedly, long rants, muse, rambling musings, rousseau, secret life, story dynamics, writer, writer trouble, writing

Or, How to Talk With Authors and Not Tick Them Off.

Have you ever compared a writer to a published author, only for them to become upset and irritated? It’s a common enough occurrence. I know that I myself have been subjected to this form of torture a few times.

Why do writers find comparison irritating? Well, perhaps because they are occasionally inadvertently compared to an author whose work they object to, or whom they simply know is not really very good at their craft. But more often, it’s like this.

While comparisons are the essence of description, they can also be trite and shallow. And when dealing with an author, it’s a good idea to not upset them. For one thing, it won’t change their mind or their writing if they feel antagonized. For another… have you seen those buttons around the internet?! You know, the ones that say “Be nice, or you’ll end up in my novel”?! There is truth to those, you know.

So, each event, no matter how commonplace, should be taken as a new and unprecedented one in the larger context. Also, an author may take you too literally when you compare them to Rousseau, for instance. They may think you are calling them unoriginal, that you think that their ideas are too similar to Rousseau to be taken practically. They may think that you’re secretly irritated with them for emulating Rousseau. (It’s true, writers oftentimes have inferiority complexes.) Instead, you should tell them, “Your prose reminds me of Dumas!” or “Your world-building brings C.S. Lewis to mind!” or “I love this description. It sounds like Tolkien’s work. I can really see it in my mind’s eye!” Rather than making a sweeping generalization, it’s better to compare different elements of their work to authors, rather than comparing their work as a whole. Remember, real life isn’t actually a paper you’re writing on how different mythologies influenced Lewis and Tolkien, making their work different, or comparing Dumas son to Dumas pere. Instead, you’re supposed to be giving useful feedback (not necessarily advice!) to an author who isn’t dead yet, so be specific.

Good luck.

Casualties of the Fandom: Character Distortion

Tags

characters, disney, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, long rants, lord of the rings, oocs, out of character syndrome, spontaneous expedient character defamation syndrome, star wars, story dynamics, writing

Ironic how many of my posts begin with discussions with either Professor V.J. Duke, Liam, Head Phil, or Rosalie… No? Nobody even noticed?! That’s kind of… *shrugs* Ah, well.

Anyway, I was talking with… well, any or all of the above… and with Eric, and also with Iris (the other big one in my blogging inspiration life), at some point, probably… Well, actually, I have probably discussed this with everyone I’ve ever met who shared a fandom with me… And the one big topic (well, problem) of fandoms (other than outside characters or whether Han shot first) is character distortion, or, even worse, character assassination (to which, we fear, Obi-Wan may fall victim in time, or from which he may have an abominably narrow escape, now that Star Wars belongs to Disney… *ominous music starts playing* Yes, I’m a Disney fan only when I’m kicking and screaming. Got a problem with that? :-P).

Now, that is not to say that outside or original characters are actually a problem, per se–it’s only when they go to the Sue Side that they get really bad. Or if they’re underdeveloped. Never mind that, though. (Also, I believe that Han really did shoot first. :-P)

To get onto the real topic of this post, I’m addressing out-of-character syndrome. OOCS, for short, is a very serious condition that really affects an author more than a character. This often happens when a fanfiction writer dislikes a character so strongly that they don’t bother to make them true to themselves, or worse–when they really see such-and-such a character as the way they portray them.

Then, there is the gap (sometimes slight, sometimes very significant) between a character as they are in the canon, and a character as they are in the fanon (yes! Erin is finally learning fan-speak! yaaaaay!). A good example is Mace Windu.

Seriously, why does everyone hate Windu? He’s cool!

In the Star Wars movies, Windu is the man with reservations and mad skills with a lightsaber. However, in the fanon, he seems more repressive and colder, and is often presented as the chief antagonist of Anakin (and sometimes Obi-Wan) within the Jedi Order, despite the fact that Anakin is comfortable enough with him to confess to him in Revenge of the Sith that Palpatine is, in fact, Sidious, and that he takes almost a fatherly attitude toward Obi-Wan in the movies. Also, there is the added evidence that, in the Clone Wars TV series, Obi-Wan actually dares to sass back to him after Windu inadvertently sets off a trap: “You certainly stepped in it this time!” (Many’s the time I’ve wanted to do a fan-dub of this scene, but changing Obi-Wan’s line to “You certainly put your foot in it this time!” I thought it would be funnier… *notices Obi-Wan looking over her shoulder* Whoops, sorry, off topic… *blushes*)

What in the name of the sweet ever-living Force?!

Yeah, you got that right.

I can only assume that the fans mistook Windu’s hardcore and occasionally almost harsh ways for dislike of other people, even though there is good evidence that they weren’t.

Another example would have to be Elrond. In the movies (recurring theme here!) he is repressive and stern, even grumpy. I can only assume that they mistook his impressiveness in the books for grumpiness.

You see, in the books, Elrond was a wise, hospitable half-Elf who had a cameo in The Hobbit. In The Lord of the Rings, he made a huge comeback and was given a bigger part. Stern Elrond may be, but humorless he certainly is not; when taking Frodo to see Bilbo, he even goes so far as to tease Bilbo, saying, “Awake, little master!” when Bilbo was not really asleep. Believe it or not, he actually smiles at his council, and though he does want Aragorn to reclaim his inheritance before seeking Arwen’s hand, this story line is not as relevant to the movie due to a difference that I will discuss in a minute. Arwen and Aragorn’s separation was entirely due to an agreement between them, not due to jealous father’s intervention.

Now, for that divide of realities I mentioned a moment before.

Elrond wanted Aragorn to reclaim his patrimony before returning to court Arwen. However, in the books this wasn’t really an issue because, unlike in the movie, before the story even began Aragorn had foreseen what he would have to do and knew that he was going to return to Gondor. He didn’t have quite the same lack of self-worth in the books, though he still felt ashamed of Isildur. It made for a great source of angst, sure, but was it actually necessary? (Though it is kind of hard to imagine the movies without it… oh, I feel like such a traitor now…) Believe it or not, they actually knew where they were going from the very start. They had more foresight than in the movie! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

…Ahem. 😛

These are my two biggest pet peeves when it comes to character distortion. The other pet peeve (bad Obi-Wan fanfiction) I will not even start on, else I’ll drive everyone away, I fear. Normally Obi-Wan isn’t so out of character (unless we run into one of those horrid Obi-Wan haters who misunderstand his motivations and actions at every turn…), but he normally takes a smaller part, which makes it just feel sort of wrong, since Obi-Wan should be taking a larger part and it does not make sense if he doesn’t, since it’s slightly out of character for him not to be in the middle of things. He can’t just leave things be, y’know?

Oh, and then there’s Anakin. He lends himself well to humor or heartlessness or idiotic blind jealousy very well. No offense, Anakin. But you were the one with “Most likely to get drunk and end up in a tree” in your yearbook.

Before I finish, there’s something to be said for humor–or crack, as some incarnations are known. (Crack is the version that’s not meant to be taken seriously at all.) Slight out-of-character-ness is to be expected, and here, it’s not taboo. The key is to be just funny enough without weirding your readers out. 😉 However, in my opinion, the best funny stories are the ones where everyone is in character, and humorous things just keep happening. 😉

What character distortions plague you the most? Who do you feel is consistently portrayed as being out-of-character in the fanon you adore?

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

Archivist of Selay’uu’s Journal: Vivaldi

Tags

completely random posts, disney, frozen, humor, insanity, pixar, selay'uu, star wars

A couple of days ago, I was walking past Obi-Wan’s room on my way to the breakfast room, which was empty, to meet with Gervaise in order to get to work on his story. However, as I drew level with his room, I spotted Ventress standing outside it, shouting through the keyhole. Instantly intrigued, I ducked into one of the conveniently-placed curtained alcoves that are scattered all over the old house. Frankly, with those things in place, I’m surprised there are any secrets left in the House of Selay’uu at all.

I had arrived too late to witness Ventress’ initial arrival and shouts through the keyhole, but now I could hear Obi-Wan’s reply quite clearly, despite the fact that there was a door, a hallway’s worth of open space, a former Sith, and a curtain between us. “Go away, Ventress! I’m busy!”

“Oh, come on!” Ventress growled, at her most sultry (and, most irritating, for both me and Obi-Wan,) I thought. Was she trying to ask him out? I stuffed my hand in my mouth to stifle the giggles. If she was, she’d have to beat Morgana to it–and besides, Obi-Wan didn’t date people that I knew of, and I could not imagine him dating anyone at any rate. “What’s so important? What are you doing in there? Not washing up, I hope?” There was a loud bang and a sharp clatter as something hit the door and Ventress jumped backwards in an attempt to not get jarred. Obi-Wan had thrown something–a pewter mug, perhaps. Maybe even the self-same one he normally kept his pens in. I inwardly grinned. Testy. This was going to be a show to remember.

“I’m listening to Vivaldi! Clear off!” Obi-Wan shouted back. Ventress growled again, really grumpy now.

“You need to learn to make better excuses, Obi-Wan dear.”

“You scarcely know me, Ventress. That wasn’t an excuse. Go boil your head.”

No matter what else Ventress said or did, short of cutting the door open (which would have gotten her confined to her own room, sans either lightsaber and stripped of the Force by the order of the Council), Obi-Wan would not make any further reply to her shouts, and at last Ventress lost interest and wandered off. Suddenly remembering my own appointment, I hurried off as well. I was late, but Gervaise didn’t complain.

Later, as I passed Ventress on the way to bed, I added insult to her injury by humming “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” rather conspicuously. Ahhh… life in the House of Selay’uu.

If you can’t make it yours, make it your own!

Tags

advice, author, camp nanowrimo july 2014, completely random posts, confusing nonsense, creative writing, editor, insanity, long rants, national novel writing month, rambling musings, small rants, story dynamics, writer, writing

Erin walks on, wearing a bright cyan headband over messy yet undeniably gorgeous curls.

People complain about originality an awful lot… She notices the looks at her hair, then shrugs. I feel pretty today. Normally my hair is frizzy, fluffy and horrible. Give me my twenty hours of advertised glory with that Pantene curl scrunching gel stuff. It’s better than what I normally get! She sits down on the chair on stage.

So, people are complaining that all the original plots are taken. She shrugs. So? My advice is, if you can’t make the plot yours, make it your own. If you can’t own it, OWN it! She notices that everyone is staring at her blankly. Am I talking gibberish again, or is my message just not getting across? She crosses one leg over the other.

If you haven’t got an absolutely original, unprecedented plot, then so what? You can still make the one you have absolutely unique. Just pour your heart out into it until you have nothing left to give. I know that sounds hard! She stands up and begins to pace. But that’s what writing is. It’s about going on even when you feel as if there’s no point. Well, there is a purpose to it, even if the purpose is only to get the people living in your heads to stop screaming at you for a little bit. It’s also not always about ending, either. It’s a paradox. You can unravel it if you like that sort of thing.

Even if you have an unprecedented plot, it still pays to put in that extra little bit of work. You following me? Scattered “yes’s” and “no’s.” She ignores the no’s. Good.

Even if you’re not the first person to write a plot of this cast, it will still be unique as long as you take the time to make it unique. It will be worth reading, because those who say “read one, read ’em all” are WRONG! Besides, some people like to read variations on a plot anyway!

So, what is the pith of this little post? I’m telling you to take the extra effort and make your story unique in every facet, because frankly? You’re NOT going to be the next… J.K. Rowling or Susan Cooper or whatsername who wrote the Hunger Games. You’d better start pursuing your own niche because there is no way you can ride to fame on the skirts of their coats. Cloaks. Whatever!

Oh, and if you’re not writing a completely unprecedented plot, don’t despair. Make it your own.

Cliches can be turned to advantage. With enough detailing, even a stereotype’s hardened exterior will dissolve into a most definitely non-Mary Sue.

Rant over.

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

Archivist of Selay’uu’s Journal: Ninja Elf Jedi Pillow Fight

Tags

completely random posts, confusing nonsense, humor, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, lord of the rings, rambling musings, selay'uu, small rants, star wars

I was innocently–or at least, as nearly innocently–walking along the corridors of the mansion when Obi-Wan dashed by. He ducked swiftly under cover. I stared for a moment, shrugging, and went forward, minding my own business.

Certainly, the last thing I had ever expected was to be nearly run over–and actually sent flying sideways–by Legolas Thranduillion, of all people.

Of course, he was Elf through and through, meaning he shouted “Sorry Erin!” but he was focused enough on his target–Obi-Wan–that he kept on going, and he shouted it in exactly the same way he shouts “Come on Gimli!” in The Two Towers.

He didn’t even deem it of enough importance to punctuate it properly, with an actual comma, between “sorry” and “Erin.”

Insufferable Elf.

He’s also not taller than me, did I mention that? I’m just edging over him in height. Hah.

Anyways. Legolas ran off after Obi-Wan, leaving me to recover from being bowled over by a mad, berserk Elf. And this, though surprising in itself, is actually a pretty normal day in Selay’uu.

Of course, after being run over by an Elf, I was curious, so I followed–albeit at a less-breakneck speed. Obi-Wan appeared ahead, leaning around a doorway, and flung a pillow–nothing more dangerous–at Legolas, who evaded it with a neat ninja roll. I’ve done ballet for fourteen years, but even I had to envy that. Legolas dived under cover, shouting, “You are finished, Glorfindel!” (Yes, Obi-Wan is called ‘Glorfindel’ by the Elves. Something about reincarnation or something like that. Probably due to the fact that–it’s a secret of Selay’uu and you must not repeat it–Obi-Wan is half Elf himself, and bears an uncanny resemblance to the original Glorfindel, who is not present in Selay’uu since he currently resides in Valinor. Sigh. Also Obi-Wan has some sort of odd memory share thing with the original Glorfindel–it’s like a bunch of things in Lord of the Rings. It only makes sense until it is explained. After that, it sounds like baloney.)

“I doubt that!” Obi-Wan shouted back, throwing another pillow. It curved in mid-flight and managed to smack Legolas a good one. Legolas, of course, returned fire.

I love a good pillow fight, and though Legolas is awesome, when it’s him versus Obi-Wan I plead no-contest. Besides, this is the fellow who just knocked me over with scarce a word of apology. Summoning a stray pillow with my new-found Force powers, but not yet confident enough to use the Force to accelerate it into the Elf’s back, I grabbed it and flung it as hard as I could. It hit Legolas in the back of the head. He turned to stare at me in amazement, and I ran. Diving behind Obi-Wan, I grabbed another pillow and tried to Force-throw it at Legolas. I missed.

“Obi-Wan, what is this?”

“What’s it look like?” he retorted, obviously too fired up to speak in his normal almost clipped manner. “Look out Erin!” He grabbed me and shoved me down, evading a pillow from Legolas.

The other residents of Selay’uu were astonished a few moments later to see an archivist, a Jedi, and an Elven prince of the Woodland Realm of Mirkwood chasing each other through the halls, assaulting each other with pillows.

Just because we’re all technically adults, doesn’t mean we have to act it!