Hello, everyone! Slight change in plans for today’s post. I was planning on doing something else entirely, but I was looking through other stories on my computer and saw… this. I couldn’t believe I had never posted it before. Anyway, enjoy!
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don’t say goodbye
Don’t say I didn’t try…
They had fallen, and fallen hard.
If there was one thing Obi-Wan should have known, it was that good things don’t last forever. He was broken. Qui-Gon was dead. And the future… the future was descending into darkness.
“This is all your fault!” Anakin shouted. Obi-Wan caught the boy’s wrists to keep him from doing either one of them any injury, but he didn’t fight back. Deep within, he agreed with the boy.
Padme, out of her queenly regalia, gasped and covered her mouth. As shocked as she was, she recovered rapidly. “Anakin, please don’t say such things. I’m sure Padawan Kenobi did his best…”
“I should have done better,” Obi-Wan said, his teeth tight. And then there was nothing but grief.
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies
You told us
The hurt, the blame!
Anakin was lying to him, again. Obi-Wan could see it in his eyes. Padme was lying too. Obi-Wan wanted to cry again, but all the tears had dried up long ago. He was hollow, and it ached. Something deep within him was screaming, Don’t lie! Life is too short to live a lie! but he didn’t voice it aloud.
There were many things he could never say. Such as the fact that as Anakin’s path grew darker and darker, the younger man was dragging him down as well. The one who should have been a guiding light was lost from the beginning. The banter between them was a mere veneer over a painful, ugly reality. They were each other’s life-lines; the one, wilfully dragging his friend down; the other, unable to stop it, unable to fight, and hating himself for that.
The truth might be liberating, but they had already gone too far down the road. The things they never said, that they couldn’t or wouldn’t say became an added weight, dragging them down, drowning them. Ignorance wasn’t bliss. Ignorance was gnawing at their souls. And some of the time, they didn’t even know it.
And we will weep
To be so alone
We are lost!
We can never go home
Time went on, and the things they never could say piled up and divided them, slowly. They were both alone, though to break the illusion all they had to do was reach out for the other and hope—it was a faint hope but still a hope—that he would listen. But neither of them did.
And they forgot, slowly, what they were fighting over, what they were fighting for. The silences chewed at their lifelines. Neither one could go back, one to a home he didn’t remember, the other to a home he didn’t want to remember.
So in the end
I will be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Anakin didn’t trust people; he preferred to work alone.
Obi-Wan watched as all his friends, one by one, were surrendered to the flames of the Clone Wars.
It was too little, too late, when Obi-Wan tried to talk to Anakin that one last time. He had offered Anakin all that he was, and Anakin had spurned it. They were both too stubborn and proud to change. Obi-Wan was the only one who knew how to escape obstinacy and pride. Anakin hadn’t wanted to learn from him.
In the end, that was what was the worst.
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn’t try…
“You were the Chosen One, Anakin! It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them; bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!”
As Obi-Wan stood on the shores of a fiery lake, he wondered how it had come to this—how his best friend could have become his most vital enemy. And the answer lay in a thousand things that were left unsaid, all the lies they told instead… the gap that he had tried to bridge. Anakin had not tried.
The Force splintered into jagged shards of shadow, cutting the last fragments of light. It had been them that had been holding it together, and by his pride, Anakin had failed, utterly.
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
“I hate you!”
Even as he said it, Vader realized that he didn’t mean it, that he only hated himself, that deep within he was begging to be brought back, to be forgiven. With a spasm of rage, Vader destroyed the pitiful thought.
It was too late, for both of them.
“You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.”
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
They parted in tears.
Neither of them could go home. The one, because he had forgotten. The other, because he was still tending the last coals of a faithless flame, stirring the embers to a fire that might never kindle.
You are lost!
You can never go home
The only thing left was to mourn, and to pray. There was not hope. Only a fool’s hope.
I truly am a fool. Obi-Wan told himself, over and over. He was alone.
There were only tears.