Rebel for a Day: Independent Christian Authors Black Friday Book Sale


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It’s a little less than a week until Thanksgiving, and I know what I’m thankful for–the wonderfully creative community I’ve discovered here on WordPress.

I’ve met dozens or even hundreds of people and each of them has a story to tell–wonderfully unique, fantastic, original stories. Even more incredible, every last one of these people is a maverick. There is something marvelously refreshing about independent filmmaking, fiction, and music production. It doesn’t stick with rigid firmness to “what’s selling” right now. It makes its own market, and it caters to a specific group rather than trying to please everyone. This is my radical side: I’m a maverick in my tastes and I snootily turn my back on the media and entertainment establishments. Quite frequently, actually. When you’ve got all this amazing work, why even bother with the bland identical-plotted books that get published every year simply because they’re the trending genre?

To put it plainly, I love the beautifully organic way the Internet links people with their audiences and I’m not about to stop now!

Now I’m going to do what I can to give back to them. I’m not actually published myself yet, so I’m not actually taking part, but at least I’m going to get the word out about the Independent Christian Authors Black Friday Book Sale, hosted by Leah of Leah’s Bookshelf.

A bunch of us here on WordPress are a) still minors, b) broke college students (you are HERE,) or c) some other option who still can’t afford lots of stuff anyway. So this sale is great news for us, because we still need something to occupy our minds. (Good fiction is a basic human need–seriously, if you don’t believe me, go read psychology textbooks and I think you’ll find that I’m right.)

With all these authors participating, there is something for everyone in this book sale. Go check it out!

Visit Leah’s blog here.

Here’s the list of participating authors.

And the survey (which might not be closed yet) about the sale.

Be a rebel for a day. Let’s get out there and support these indie authors, people!

The Brooklyn Project: Writing Anger, Part Three


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I never expected this segment of the project to take this long! Oh well.

In the first segment, I discussed why anger is important to your writing (you have to include emotion or your characters will come off as unfeeling or sociopathic), and typical ways character types get angry. In the second, I talked about some specific examples.

Now it’s time for the tips on how to work characters getting angry into your own work. Yay! *throws yogurt instead of confetti*

Now that everyone has had their free yogurt facial, I’m going to start talking.

As you saw in my last post in this series, characters often act in given ways due to their backstory. This isn’t necessarily part of their personality, though. For the sake of this post, I’m referring to personality as an enduring set of traits that influence a person to act in a certain way.

Some characters may go through a lot of trauma and never show any outward sign of it. Others may struggle to come to terms with it, but their core personality remains the same. Others are completely different following the experience.

Another quick checklist, this one for determining whether or not an experience (traumatic or otherwise) changes a character:

  • How intense was the experience?
  • How profound an effect did it have on the character?
  • Was it a “first time” of some kind?
  • How old was the character at the time?
  • How long did it last?
  • How long ago was it?
  • How much of the character’s entire comparative life span did it take up? (e.g. if it’s been happening to them all their lives, or if it’s a more recent occurrence, or if it happened years ago but took up years.)

Also you have to consider the character. Some characters are just more resilient than others.

When a character gets angry, consider how they do it. Do they rage? Do they threaten violence? Do they use their words, and how do they use their words? Do they just walk away, or do they confront the problem?

Here’s an example from one of my novels:

Before the monster could shatter Cael’s bones with that massive paw, it suddenly reeled backwards, writhing in agony, a faint blue light shining from somewhere in the area of its maw. Its death throes lasted for only a few seconds, but it seemed much longer. As the beast fell, Arden leaped down from its back.

‘What are you doing here, Cael?’ he asked in a quiet, calculated voice, his face immobile.

‘I thought someone was in trouble,’ Cael stammered.

‘And you just wandered off?’ The words were velvety smooth but as perilous as quicksand. Not trusting himself to answer aloud, Cael nodded. ‘What did I tell you?’ Arden asked, his eyes flashing. Cael wondered if Arden was going to punish him in some way. But rather than doing anything, Arden continued in that dulcet, threatening tone, which was, in a way, more terrifying than anything he might have done.

‘Don’t wander off.’

If you can’t tell, Arden is a Type Five and Cael is either a Type One or Two. ;-)

Remember that some characters are just innately more terrifying when they’re angry than others.

If your viewpoint character is the object of the anger, make sure to decide whether the other character’s form of anger is frightening to them or not, then pick out a few details that stand out to them. Choose just a couple of reasons why the anger is frightening and focus on them. Scrub your writing of too many details and purple or flowery prose–you can use a few details and a few unusual words, but don’t use too many, which will bog your writing down and detract from the emotion of the scene.

The same advice can also be useful for writing other forms of fear and shock as well. You can also, if you like, include some incongruous details for your character to notice: the color of a friend’s eyes, a brightly-colored balloon, a flower, the fact that it’s suddenly clouded over or cleared up. Use them to create a sense of detachment and for contrast.

Good luck with your writing!

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

The Brooklyn Project: Writing Anger, Part Two


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Welcome back to this Brooklyn Project special on Writing Anger!

In the previous post, I explained why anger (and other emotions) is important to your novel and the different tendencies of character types in anger. In this post, I will give specific examples, explain how backstory can influence a character’s emotions, and give some advice and handy tools for writing it into your novels.

Anger tends to vary drastically within types as well as within genders. Take Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Doctor, for example. I have them both classed as Type Fives because they’re both extremely complex characters who use a lot of misdirection and subtlety (as a side note, I watched part of David Tennant playing Hamlet and I’d have to say, Hamlet is Type Five as well.) Obi-Wan and the Doctor are both a bit more emotional than the stereotypical Type Five (Sherlock Holmes, for instance), but they have tendencies towards different emotions. Obi-Wan, while he’s a generally optimistic person with a mostly-happy childhood, is also a realist (see? really complex!) and slides toward sadness as an adult (as a child, he had a very quick temper), and I’d imagine that of all the Star Wars characters he’s probably the one hiding the fact that he has to take antidepressants. Obi-Wan has a tendency to switch topics without warning (non sequitur to the Rest Of The World), but has come to manage that in his adult life so he acts more like an INFJ than an INTJ (which I’m pretty sure he is.) The Doctor is much more bipolar. He sometimes has dramatic mood swings, jumps from idea to idea without consistency and gets depressed when he loses Rose in his tenth incarnation. (The Ninth and Twelfth Doctors were both much more focused, while Eleven just seems a bit aimless and underdeveloped to me.)

As a child, Obi-Wan was under a lot of stress much of the time–his teachers had high expectations, he routinely exceeded them, which in turn made his teachers set their standards for him even higher. No one ever particularly told him that he was clever, which certainly helped him to become the humble character we all love, but it didn’t do much to help him cope with his workload–being observant, he knew that most of his age-mates weren’t working this hard. Either he didn’t know the reason, or he simply rationalized it that he was stupid, because he was working so much harder than everyone else. Because he was stressed, he tended to flare up in anger when bullied, which made people perceive him as an angry person when he really was a compassionate and thoughtful one under a lot of stress. (He was probably also dealing with depression, but it went unnoticed because he didn’t fit the stereotype.) This was dramatically exacerbated when he came closer to the cut-off date for apprenticeship. It was a self-fueling cycle that pushed him down, but fortunately Yoda observed what was going on, realized that he was caught in a cycle and they weren’t seeing his true self, and used the fact that he’d recently gotten into a fight with another Jedi hopeful to get him out of the Temple and away from the cycle. (“The Rising Force” by Dave Wolverton. What makes me think he was dealing with depression? The hopeless way he responded to being taken away from the Temple and his difficulty in finding the will to fight back when attacked on the transport. I may be wrong about depression, but that seems to fit the facts.)

As an adult, Obi-Wan was not as likely to flare up, even when provoked. It took a major provocation (oftentimes aimed at his loved ones rather than himself) to get him angry. While he was outwardly a model of serenity, he was really a visionary, passionate and idealistic, and had an innate ability to read other people and respond to them in a disarming way. (Oh, sorry, did I say Obi-Wan was INTJ? It’s really hard to tell if that big letter is a T or an F, especially with him.) Obi-Wan was both a traditionalist and a reformer, and given enough time he might have been able to get the entire Jedi Order back on track. Obi-Wan always had a sarcastic and often dark sense of humor with a love of wordplay and a cutting wit that he used as a smokescreen to hide any internal trepidation. However, his sarcasm was more often a part of his humor than of his anger.

As an adult, Obi-Wan responded to anger in one of two ways. One was a sudden burst of anger (in response to sudden provocation), followed quickly by calm, rational thought, and the other was a cold, distant, controlled and calculated wrath that was completely terrifying, even if you were not the target of it at the time. Obi-Wan was not an angry person, however. His anger was aroused and then when it was over, it was completely gone.

The Doctor, while he had a similar upbringing (taught at an academy with little to no familial contact after his induction), was always more of a rebel. While Obi-Wan had an intuitive understanding of the world and the people around him, the Doctor, while brilliant, would often find himself confronted by situations and things he didn’t understand. The Doctor never particularly cared about other people’s opinions and was often more sassy than sarcastic. Sarcasm was not often a part of his anger, either. The Doctor didn’t often have those rapid flare-ups of temper as an adult–his anger was a constant, a perpetual and constantly controlled presence and as such it was always tightly controlled. When openly angry, the Doctor’s anger was similar to Obi-Wan’s calculated cold fury. He would often be verbally cutting (though not sarcastic,) whittling people down (often to tears) with words. His word choice, posture, and expression would all become menacing. For me, the most effective thing about David Tennant’s performance as the Doctor was the way he could play a character who is sweet, charming, frankly adorable and a little bit ditzy but who is at the same time an intensely driven individual, with an ever-present and deep-rooted anger–especially the way Tennant is able to jump so quickly between the two.

the idiot's lanternthe idiot's lantern 2

There was another image I was going to use, but it’s the most terrifying expression you are ever likely to see, so I’m going to refrain. This blog is mostly G-rated, after all.

Their angry expressions vary, too: Obi-Wan presses his lips together tightly, the Doctor tends to display his teeth (which is slightly unnerving in its own right–Ten’s teeth are sort of angled-in, which prompted him to comment “That’s weird” immediately after his regeneration.) Obi-Wan’s anger is all in the way he looks calculatedly at people, while the Doctor’s anger is all in the eyes and mouth–eyebrows draw together, lips curl back, and his nose wrinkles a little. The Doctor looms over people, while Obi-Wan tenses up in his core and has to remind himself to breathe. That last one could be more because Obi-Wan’s training was a little more martial in style, so he’s preparing to leap into action at any second. The Doctor’s anger intimidates, while Obi-Wan prepares to fight.

(Bottom line, fangirls: The Doctor is scary. He does have a fluffy side but he also has quite the dark side. Do not occasion David Tennant giving you The Eyebrow… if he did it to me I’d probably burst into tears.)

Let’s talk about Steve Rogers, a typical Type One. Steve doesn’t get angry often, but when he does, you do not want to get on his bad side. Captain America: The Winter Soldier has several prime examples. In the first fifteen or so minutes of the movie, he tells Fury off for not giving him the whole story about the opening mission. Rather than verbally attacking Fury or using sarcasm, though, he lets Fury know he’s angry and then tells him why in plain language that’s not calculated to make Fury angry in turn. As a result, we find out how much Fury really respects Steve–in response to Steve’s accusation, he shows us that he values Steve’s respect by showing Steve SHIELD’s latest top-secret project: Project Insight. You wouldn’t think that Fury would let something like Steve’s respect be that important to him, but it is.

The other notable anger we see Steve display in The Winter Soldier is his anger following the shock of discovering that his best friend is still alive and has been brainwashed into a Soviet superweapon. “Would you have compartmentalized that too?” he asks Fury, the most biting his language to Fury has gotten thus far. He’s being a little bit irrational, which is not really typical for Steve at all. I think that in the scene on the bridge when Sam Wilson says “He’s the kind you stop,” Steve is still angry about it but keeps himself from lashing out viciously at Sam because it is not Sam’s fault.

You can’t really see it on his face when Steve is angry because his angry look is more “calculating” than “angry.” You have to listen to him to know he’s angry. Also, Steve’s sarcasm is rarely connected with his anger–it’s more self-deprecating. We generally only see him use sarcasm when he’s angry with himself or trying to work with people, and then he uses his sarcasm the same way–to defuse the situation through self-deprecating humor. It’s very rare for us to see Steve use anything but plain language–which would seem to be a fairly common trait for Type Ones. They can get technical, but most of the time they whittle things down to the barest meaning they can.

Bucky Barnes is different from most Type Twos. He’s brave, funny, active, adventurous, and a people person. Cool factor was harder to figure out, but he’s the Winter Soldier. However, he isn’t as much of a planner as Steve is and as a result we never see him planning anything in particular. Rather than acting or taking the initiative, we see him reacting (which is probably because his supposed death is the “Mirror Moment” of The First Avenger–the moment the main character goes from reacting to initiating the action.) Bucky is more of what I’d call a mature Type Two–a Type Two who is aware of their own character flaws and dark side, making it more of a character strength for him than a weakness. He’s less existential than Type Ones or Fives though, so he doesn’t deal with such deep self-hate as, for instance, the Doctor, Obi-Wan, or Steve.

When Bucky gets angry, it’s normally because someone has attacked Steve (verbally or physically.) I’d imagine that when someone badmouths Steve, Bucky attacks them personally with his words and tears them down completely. He is quietly angry about the injustice of people constantly taking it out on Steve, but doesn’t quite know what to do about it (because he’s more based in social norms than a Type Five like Sherlock, who would not be held back in going after the wrongdoers simply because it wasn’t “okay.”)

Wow. This post turned out long. I’ll have to split it into three, rather than two as I had planned… Stay tuned for the final installment of this series!

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

The Brooklyn Project: Writing Anger, Part One


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Yes, I know it has been a while. I’m sorry. Also, I am not going to list all my (completely valid) excuses here because that would be an entire post in itself. And a half.

In this post, I will explain the different ways different types of characters get angry and why this is important to your story. In the second part of this post (coming soon,) I will give specific examples and explain how you can use this in your story.

Warning: This post will be working off of WriteFury‘s and my character typing system, so if you are not familiar with it, you should probably go and glance through them now:

Click here for Character Profile #1.

Click here for Character Profile #1.

Click here for Character Profile #2.

Click here for Character Profile #2.

Click here for Character Profile #3.

Click here for Character Profile #3.

Click here for Character Profile #4!

Click here for Character Profile #4.

Click here for Character Profile #5.

Click here for Character Profile #5.

Now that that’s out of the way, we can talk character!

Anger is always a useful tool to better define characters in your readers’ minds. A character who does not get angry or otherwise show an emotion at some point (preferably multiple some-point’s!) in the course of a story will come off as either an emotionless robot or a soulless, undeveloped, bland nobody.

Of course, different characters get provoked to strong emotion in different ways. Here’s a quick checklist to consider (using gender-neutral pronouns for brevity):

  • What would xe see as an unforgivable outrage?
  • Is xir anger more likely to be righteous or not-so-righteous? (More about this below!)
  • Is xe easily provoked to anger? (Bonus points if the villain uses this character flaw against xir!)
  • How does xir anger come out? (aka shouting, sarcasm, physical actions, etc.) Also, is xe completely unreasonable when angry? (If so, here’s something for xir to work on in the course of the story!)
  • Is xe more likely to try to control xir anger?
  • What most commonly makes xir angry? (As in, what everyday annoyance would be most likely to provoke xir?)

Different character types tend to get angry differently. Type Ones can get this look that they are plotting horrible revenge (I am looking at you, Steven Rogers!), or alternatively get quiet and extremely calculating when they are angry. In fact, they may not seem to be angry at all, but use calculated language to make others angry.

Type Twos and Threes often explode in anger or lash out verbally at others because they feel their Fortress of Solitude has been penetrated or wronged. (Incidentally, these two types are also the most likely to take criticism personally rather than realistically and implementing it to improve performance, like Type Ones and Type Fives often do.) Type Twos and Threes are often blissfully unaware of their own character flaws and defects (unlike Type Ones and Fives, who tend to know their own personalities altogether too well and are more likely to develop self-hate as a result), and when their personal flaws are pointed out to them, they get defensive and angry. They’re also more likely to get worked up about things (taking gentle criticism completely out of context, for instance.) Like Type Fives, Type Twos and Type Threes sometimes do things that are considered inappropriate, but because they are in the grip of some powerful passion and they aren’t thinking ahead.

Type Fours are most likely to explode in anger when their friends are attacked, whether physically (when Steve Rogers was being beaten up behind the theater, for instance) or verbally (if one character says something bad about another character), especially if the accusation is untrue or perceived to be untrue. They are more likely to lash out with words than physically, and when aroused can be just as verbally cutting as a Type One or a Type Five.

Type Ones and Fives are the deep thinkers. Type Ones tend to get angry about social injustice and similar issues, while a Type Five is more likely to go out and do something about it. (However, since Type Fives often tend to be “poorly socialized”, sometimes the things they do about injustice are either blown totally out of proportion or just generally inappropriate, though their solutions are almost never completely ineffective.) Both Type Ones and Type Fives are the most likely to work themselves up about things that may or may not be personal to them, but in a completely impersonal way. Type Fives almost never get angry because of a personal attack. Type Ones may get depressed over being attacked in a personal way, but they don’t retaliate. Type Fives are the most likely of any type to retaliate for any perceived wrongdoing, simply because they perceived it as a wrong and not out of any personal, emotional response. Type Fives always think ahead–in terms of logic, not generally accepted norms–and will reach conclusions and do things that make them appear to others as amoral, weird, or unfeeling. However, those conclusions, to them, make perfect sense, and they often react with surprise or confusion when informed that “People just don’t do that!” Type Fives will also go through with a logical course of action, even if it will have a negative impact on them. They aren’t unware that there will be consequences. They’ve simply weighed benefits against consequences and decided on (to them) an appropriate course of action.

As a result, it may seem like Type Fives don’t get angry, but they may simply not be showing that anger on the outside while their movements are calculated and driven by deep, elemental passion. If you have posed a threat, done something to, hurt, or otherwise upset to the friend of a Type Five (even one who, like Batman, won’t kill you,) you are done for. Prepare for your life to be made miserable. The perceived wrong may not have even particularly upset the friend. In the eyes of the Type Five, you are guilty and the logical conclusion is that you deserve to be punished.

Don’t simply assume that just because a character is male, or female, he or she will get angry in a certain way. Not only is that sexist, it’s also unrealistic, and lazy. (Very, very extremely lazy.) Character types are spread out among both genders, just as all personality types appear in both men and women (though, as a quick caveat, they do operate slightly differently in men than in women.) See this post for more information. Some women will get angry in a seemingly stereotypical way. Some will cry. Others will lash out verbally. Others will resort to cutting sarcasm, while still others will be silently plotting your demise. (On a side note and as a woman myself, I would advise you to simply not make women angry at all. There’s always the off chance that you’ve just insulted a Peggy Carter and you are about to DIE in a creative and impressive way.) Some men cry when they’re upset, too, though Society frowns on this and they try to hide it. (It’s really not shameful to cry, people. However, it’s the Types Two, Three, and Four that are most likely to know and accept this. Types One and Five are notorious for bottling it up inside in that infamous Stoic Hero way.)

Here ends Part One of this post. You might also want to check out WriteFury’s post on Myers-Briggs personality types as a characterization tool. For specific examples and more on how backstory drives characters’ emotions, check back in shortly to read Part Two. As always, thanks for reading, have a great day, and God Bless!

Archivist of Selay’uu’s Journal: Dinnertime with Paparazzi


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Last night some people from the Intergalactic Press came over and we were having dinner at the time.

The Doctor was eating in a hurry, focused entirely on getting back to the lab (from whence he’d been dragged by Pepper Potts, who had pulled Tony out at the same time). And Obi-Wan’s manners are impeccable, but he sometimes reads at the table.

Mistress El’ye went out to stall the journalists, but it wasn’t enough. She tried to text Darcy, but Darcy’s phone had been summarily destroyed when it fell in the tub (which is part of what the Doctor had been doing in the lab.) We didn’t learn this, however, until later, when the whole fiasco was over.

Mistress El’ye lead the press in… into a scene of chaos.

Dibbuns were having a food fight in the corner, Arden was just trying to get a cup of coffee before heading out but had already spilled it twice onto the Doctor’s coat, because Camicazi was having a sword fight with Archie Kennedy and kept jostling Arden. Cerasi had apparently gotten fed up with Merida trying to play the guitar (Merida is horrible, but keeps on battering away at it with that same Scottish stubbornness that keeps the Doctor in the lab day after day, trying to figure out a substitute for gluten) and was launching peas at her with a slingshot. Rassilon had made an appearance, but had been repelled with celery, pancakes, and bouillon-filled water pistols, and Moriarty got the same treatment. We let the Master sit with us for once, but he was building an intricate diagram out of squished white bread (which I kept demolishing on the sly by tossing bread rolls at it.) Sherlock was using John’s arm as a place to set his tea cup.

All in all, a typical Selay’uu dinnertime.

Into this mess marched a group of journalists, researching rumors for the penny dreadfuls. And stopped, aghast.

Almost instantly, a plucky and present-minded young photographer had his camera up and snapped a photo.

Obi-Wan and the Doctor both froze, an identical horrified look on both their faces. Obi-Wan had just bitten into a cookie, and the Doctor sat with his spoon halfway into his mouth. It was practically comical, except the circumstances weren’t.

I had to agree to an interview. That part wasn’t so awesome, except fortunately I was wearing black, so the spilled coffee (Arden takes it black, with no sugar or cream) wouldn’t show.

But I bribed the photographer for a copy of the picture. It now hangs, framed in glory, on my wall.

He said he couldn’t have published it, anyways, because it looked like Anakin was making a very rude gesture in the background.

(I know for sure he wasn’t, because he was next to Obi-Wan, he was just making the Whole World Right Here gesture, it just looks like he was being obscene, he really wasn’t. But Obi-Wan gave him a mild scolding anyway.)

Another uneventful (relatively) day in Selay’uu.

The Amazing You Tag


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Another day, another tag… I don’t remember who tagged me with this one. It was probably either Sarah, WriteFury or Proverbs31teen. IDK.

Anyway. Excelsior!

1. You’re on a deserted island, and you find a cave. What would you expect to find in it? Probably something dangerous. Like a mountain lion. Or a mutated pygmy. Or evil shrimp.

2. If you could have one superpower, which would you pick? Electromagnetism. There are so many ways it could be used… if you can create really super-strong magnetic fields you can levitate people, besides the obvious throwing lightning around. It’s awesome.

3. What one song would you choose for the theme music for a movie about your life?

(Because I’m really a superhero.)

4. You can only wear one color for the rest of your life. What color would you pick? Probably green.

5. What’s one thing you want to do that’s wild, crazy, or unusual? Randomly prank all the customers at my current job. But of course I can’t do that. I’m on good behavior for the next two weeks until I am DONE WITH IT FOR GOOD. I found another job, yay! And it pays better. I just hope it turns out well…

6. If you had to give a speech to the whole world for five minutes, what topic would it be about? Just one? Man, it would be hard to stick to one topic…

I’d probably talk about how we should keep working towards good things despite our mistakes.

7. You get to have lunch with any three famous people, present or past! Who would you pick? I’d like to meet Sophie Scholl, an obscure South American president (Garcia) whose whole name I can’t remember but who was an INCREDIBLE leader, and also Josephine (Napoleon’s wife) so we could hear all about Napoleon’s most embarrassing mannerisms. :-P AWESOME blackmail and/or trivia material.

8. What is your favorite smell, and why? Petrichor! Or baking bread. Funny how they both involve ozone…

9. Share one of your favorite quotes. “Make all of space and time your backyard and what have you got? A back yard.” (That’s probably the one quote that really explained how different Ten and Eleven were. Ten’s sense of wonder was VERY different. It’s hard to explain. They went about it different ways? That’s the closest I can get.)

10. Give us two true statements about yourself and one false statement, and see if your followers can guess which one is false. Oooh, I love this game!

  1. I have never eaten cotton candy.
  2. I have scars on the heel of my hand and in between my pointer and middle fingers on my right hand, both from broken glass.
  3. I hate impatiens.

Now, because I don’t know who gave me this tag, I’m going to just tag random people.

Coruscantbookshelf, WriteFury, Sarah, Proverbs31teen, and Miko. If you haven’t done this tag before, you’re up.

(I think for this one all the questions stay the same, so I’m good to go. Anyway, laterz!)

Thanks for reading, and God Bless!

Silence Will Fall: A Parody


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Because no Internet life is complete without a parody of Mary Sue or badfic!

Enjoy! ;-D

Silence Will Fall

Xoehemina Wraithlight Spickl the Third rolled over and grinned at her true love. “Wakey wakey, Lokes!” she said in a sing-song nasal voice pitched at exactly the same key as nails on a chalk board. It was like birdsong and music all rolled into one—that is, if said bird was a crow with a five-year cold and a pack-a-day smoker and the music was played by a beginner violinist with a squint from London to New York.

Loki sat up gracefully on his elbow and smirked at his bride. “Good morning, my love,” he said. “Don’t bother to rise just yet… here, let me go and bring you breakfast in bed…”

Suddenly, an odd, wheezing hydraulic sound could be heard outside the window. Xoehemina perked up at the sound. She was a beautiful vision in off-white as she ran out onto the veranda like a flat-footed ostrich or an elephant with eczema.

“My soulmate cometh!” she proclaimed, waving her arms in a dramatic gesture like a chicken with hiccups and fell flat on her cute little backside. Loki helped her to her feet.

“You can’t mean this,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. Xoehemina turned.

“Lol, wut?”

“You can’t seriously be breaking up with me!” Loki’s voice rose to a crescendo and tears rolled down over his nose. Xoehemina turned around to pat his cheek as the TARDIS materialized before them.

“Oh, pish tush. It’s a time machine. I could be back yesterday!” she said cheerfully, snapping her fingers. The TARDIS made an angry, protesting sound as its doors flew open with a violent crash, but the sentient ship was unable to voice her annoyance to the fans and as such was frequently abused, like so. Xoehemina ignored the TARDIS’ protests as she waltzed gaily inside. She popped open her old pocket watch. “I left my hearts in Gallifrey.”

The doors flew shut behind her, the TARDIS making another angry sound. Xoehemina turned around and almost bumped into a tall, thin man who was looking at her, one eyebrow raised in a potentially frightening manner. Xoehemina fell flat on her backside again, spreading her arms wide. “Theta sugar! It’s me, your childhood crush Ashkanakxygr!”

The Doctor frowned at her. “Get off my TARDIS.”

“But, baby…” Ashkanakxygr pleaded, opening her violet eyes wide like muddy lagoons of stagnant seaweed. The Doctor pursed his lips.

“I have never met you in my life before. Leave my poor TARDIS alone and get out.”

“You have to remember me!” Ashkanakxygr shrieked. The Doctor flinched at the piercing sound. Ashkanakxygr was beyond paying attention. “We went to school together. We kissed for the first time when the moons were shining over the red mountains. My heart was broken forever when you ran away. Don’t you remember that?”

“None of it,” the Doctor said with finality. “You’re not a Time Lord. I would know you. I do not. For the last time, get off my TARDIS.”

“Pyrdon baby bear…” Ashkanakxygr began. She didn’t finish. The Doctor had pushed her out onto the surface of a barren planet, there to wail her heart out for all eternity. (Did I mention she was immortal?)

Back in his cell on Asgard, Loki snickered. Thor shuddered as he walked past his brother’s cell.

“Seriously, brother. Get a life.”

“But manipulating these half-witted mortals is so amusing,” Loki drawled. Suddenly, he reached down to his belt pouch. “Sorry, message waiting on my magic tablet.”

On the blank surface appeared a short message.

Loki. If you send another of your crowd after me ever again, I am letting Ace loose on you.

Loki cackled and turned back to his mischief. Thor went upstairs, wrote a quick note of apology, and gave it to Huginn to deliver. The raven would see that it reached the Doctor’s hand—eventually.

“What was that thing?” Donna asked distastefully as the Doctor washed and sanitized his hands for the fourth time.

“Maria Susare, commonly known as a Mary Sue, for some reason. They’re ancient creatures, pre-dating Time itself. They normally inhabit the Void and unknown parts of deep, empty space, where they prey on the unwary, but once in a while one will get lost and become every hero’s worst nightmare.” The Doctor shuddered violently, but caught himself. “They sometimes cause innocent, everyday people like us to behave contrary to our nature, and they often butt in where they’re not wanted. They’re parasites, and in their true form they are monstrous creatures with horns and teeth the length of my finger, claws and hideous bat wings which they use to disguise their horrible pink-and-black mottled skin. They’re horrible creatures that are only half-intelligent, fixated on certain ideas and unable to form new ones. They can not be reasoned with. A few brave hunters sometimes seek them out to slay them, but they must have found new sources of food, or they would have vanished from the face of the universe by now…” The Doctor grimaced in distaste. “This one was… rather… amorous.” Donna almost laughed at the Doctor’s discomfort, but quickly returned to seriousness.

“Well, what should we do about it, space boy?”

“We find their latest food source…” the Doctor’s voice deepened to an ominous drawl.

“And hope they aren’t already addicted.”

Archivist of Selay’uu’s Journal: Detours


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Jack Harkness was laughing uproariously as Madame Jocasta peremptorily ejected us from the Archives. Gwaine could barely stand upright, and Gawain stared at the character with whom he only shared a name in horrified disgust. Obi-Wan was trying to shush us all, with limited success, and Siri was determined to make things even more insane. The Doctor went and sulked in a shadowy corner.

“That was one awesome party!” Jack declared. “We should have brought drinks with us, though.” I stared at him, shuddering with horror. Perish the thought.

“Jack, please,” Obi-Wan snapped in frustration. “There are minors present.”

“Well, since we forgot all the majors,” Jack said and collapsed with laughter over his own joke. I slapped him across the back of the head with a convenient book. He overbalanced and fell flat on his nose. I waved the book at him half-heartedly.

“Ha ha!”

“It serves you right for wrecking her office,” Obi-Wan observed, picking up Gervaise, who had somehow gone all loopy on thin air and was talking to people who no one else could see.

“But peppers are good, Natasha,” Gervaise said to no one. Obi-Wan hoisted him up.

“I’m taking him to the infirmary. The rest of you–” he gave us a warning look. “Behave.

“I hate you all,” the Doctor muttered, looking as if he was about to cry. I ran across and hugged him.

“Don’t give me the puppy eyes, please! You know it leaves me a total wreck,” I whispered. He sighed, making a Herculean effort to regain his self-control.


“Let’s prank Jack until he’s cross-eyed,” I suggested softly. Merlin winked at me. I could feel the Doctor smiling into my hair.


The Great Prank War–the Prank War to end all Prank Wars–was on.

For Mother Love And Father Care


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Okay, this… um. It’s a bit sad, and I’m posting it mostly for the Doctor Who fans on here…

How I got the idea for this: I was thinking about Marvel, and then Peter Quill’s line from Guardians of the Galaxy came up: “I look around, and I see losers. People who have lost stuff. But today, life’s given us something.” (And I won’t finish the quote because he dropped a profanity in the next sentence. Faugh.)

Anyway, it made me think. And writing this made me cry, so you’re not alone.


For Mother Love and Father Care

                His life began with a promise.

“Mommy, it’s the big bad wolf,” the little girl whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks and dampening her long, blond hair. “It’s come for me.”

                Her mother consoled her as best she could, secure in the delusions of adulthood, where the worst thing that could happen to you was eviction or losing a job.

                However, Rose knew better.


                “Please, send someone to see about the crack in the wall,” Amy pleaded as she said her prayers. “Please, please, please.” With the crack, she was terrified of sleeping in her room. It rumbled and growled and sometimes it felt as if the world was falling apart around her.


                “Mom?” Jack asked from the doorway as his mother leafed through the paperwork. “When is dad coming home?”

                “I’m afraid he isn’t,” she said, a catch in her voice. “He won’t be coming home, ever.”

                “Where has he gone? Doesn’t he love us?” Jack sobbed.

                “He loves us, yes,” his mother whispered. “But he’s dead, Jack.”


                “Jack, remember this always. Death stops the breath, but it can’t stop the heart. Your father died for a friend’s sake. That’s the ultimate act of love.”


                “There’s a monster in the void,” the boy sobbed into his pillow. “Please, Daddy, please take it away.”

                “I can’t. I am so sorry,” the father replied, gripping his son’s shoulder.

                “But it knows my name,” the boy insisted. The father closed his eyes, wishing that his precious son could have stayed a child just a little while longer.

                He had been having these nightmares since his eighth birthday.

                “Don’t be afraid to be scared,” the father said. “Courage is doing the right thing despite your fear.”

Adults forgot sometimes the harsh reality of a world of nightmare, shutting themselves away in their safe delusions where the worst thing that could happen was losing a job or being evicted. True, those were terrible things to happen, but not so terrible as the child running from the evil he knows is all too real when those who should defend him tell him it is not. Being evicted is not as terrible as losing a home. Losing a job is not as horrifying as becoming lost for all of eternity, an anchorless wanderer, drifting forever through a lukewarm, empty mist.

He swore to protect them, and he would. He always would.

“Your father was a wonderful man, Rose.” Jackie whispered. “You don’t remember him. You were just a baby when he died. He was clever, and he was kind. He would have gone a long way in the world if he hadn’t been hit by that kid.”


                “But it was a child’s dream that brought you here. You dreamed that you could hold back death,” the stranger said. Grace looked away. Deep inside, she would never forget Collin. If time travel was real, couldn’t they just go back and save him?


                “Amelia Pond. Like a girl in a fairy tale,” the stranger rolled the syllables around his tongue like the silkiest chocolate ice cream.


                “Amelia Pond, that was a brilliant name—”

                “Bit fairytale.”

He would protect them, for this.

The Fatherless Girl grew up to change history and re-write Fate, and save her friends a million times over.


                The Girl Who Waited would grow up to teach a lonely man how to be human again.


                The Boy from Boeshane would grow up to seek a new way.


                The Girl Who Dreamed grew up to seek out lights in a new sky.


                The Lonely Boy grew up to weave himself an armor of words and walk the stars forever, forging his own destiny and swearing to defend them all—to heal and not to kill, to protect and not to destroy. The solemn oath was the beginning of his life.

No child deserves to cry alone. No person should be allowed to believe that they are unloved. No living being should be allowed to think for the tiniest second that they were not important.

These children would grow up to set new lights afire.

This was his oath.

And he would never break his oath.

Favorite Screen Characters Tag


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Hey, everyone. So I was nominated for this one by Sarah, my fellow superhero. Go check out her blog! :-)

Basically, the idea is to name your top ten favorite characters from movies and TV (and like Deborah, I agree: Ten is far too few.) I’m also limiting myself so I never do too many per franchise.

I also apologize in advance, especially to my American fans, as this list will probably be largely dominated by the BBC. (British Television, people.)

10. Sir Percy Blakeney/Marguerite Blakeney. I had to include the husband-and-wife duo from A&E’s The Scarlet Pimpernel movies, because they are both brilliant, amazing actors, and a force to be reckoned with, saving lives and defying death during the Reign of Terror.

9. Jack Frost (from Rise of the Guardians) because, why not? Jack is the Guardian of Joy, so that people like him would make perfect sense. (Also, his story is MUCH better handled than Elsa’s and he became immortal while saving his little sister’s life.)

8. Merlin (from BBC’s Merlin.) Merlin is charming, hilarious, and a little bit clumsy. Added to that, he has the most awesome bromance with the other side of the coin, Arthur (who is, to use Merlin’s word, a bit of a prat.) These boys broke my heart. Also, Gwaine died (spoilers!) But anyway,

7. Sherlock (specifically from the BBC show Sherlock… I told you it might be BBC-dominated!) Sherlock is truly a hero, though he doesn’t actually believe that. He can be unfeeling, even brutal, at times, but he is committed to John’s (and, by extension, Mary’s) safety, and is a true friend.

6. Hiccup (from How to Train Your Dragon, but you knew that. :-P) Hiccup is the most unlikely hero you could imagine, but when he does find something to fight for, and remembers that his father loves him, he’s a force to be reckoned with. Also, sarcasm. :-P

5. If I have to pick just one character from the Lord of the Rings… Faramir. He’s a good man and a wise one. (I also love Sam, Frodo, and all the rest, but Faramir doesn’t get nearly the respect he deserves.)

4. Horatio Hornblower. Need I even start? Horatio is intelligent, a brilliant tactician, and always tries to be a good man. I sort of feel a connection to him because I’ve got the same sort of constant mental commentary coming after me, and sometimes I hate myself over some decisions I’ve made. Also, awesome swordfighting… need I say more? ;-)
Horatio is a unique character because, instead of being addicted to adrenaline or totally fearless, he’s actually really nervous before going into battle, and sometimes struggles with relating to people. He’s a bit more logical in his approach to fights and such, and I find that unusual.

(These next three are actually about equal in my mind. I’m just ranking them this way because of how often I watch the movies featuring them and

3. The Doctor. I know you’re probably all fed up with how far I’ve gone into the Doctor Who fandom by now, so I’ll keep this short. I just think that the Doctor is amazing, and both incarnations I’ve seen so far were incredible. (Christopher Eccleston was brilliant and hilarious, and David Tennant… um. The word “precious” comes to mind–you know, in the sense of a small child… I’ll stop talking now. Oh look, Merlin quote!) Intelligent and funny, I think the Doctor is an intriguing character because he uses ridiculousness as a weapon, like Sir Percy Blakeney, who should also be on this list somewhere. Oh great, I just obfuscated again…
Um. Anyway, basically, the Doctor uses his sometimes-a-little-childish behavior and attitude to make the bad guys underestimate him.
The two main things you need to know about the Doctor: a) he sometimes behaves like a small child. b) he has some inner darkness going on, sort of a deep-seated cold rage. (The most murderous species in the universe calls him “The Oncoming Storm.” How’s that for credentials?!)

2. Steve Rogers. Do I even need to start? Loyal, selfless, and a tactical genius, but you wouldn’t know it if you were just casually talking with him. He has a homey sort of side that’s very appealing. Also an example of how you don’t have to have the sort of intense training Black Widow does or even a particularly tragic childhood to be a superhero. It’s the heart that matters. It’s the man that makes the superhero, and Steve is probably the BEST example of this. (Steve is in this slot on the list because I’ve been a fan of him for a little while–not as long as Horatio–but I rewatch the movies featuring him pretty often.)

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan is my all-time favorite character from any movie. He’s brave and kind and intelligent and doesn’t need to be the “Chosen One” to be brilliant and the absolute best. (I have a whole theory that in a fight between Sidious and Obi-Wan, Sidious absolutely would not walk away from it, even if Obi-Wan was killed as well. But I’m not going into that here.) I may stray from fandom to fandom, but Obi-Wan is one character I’ll always come back to.

I probably forgot several of my favorite characters. *sigh* Like I said before… only ten?! Is that even possible?

And because I keep forgetting about this, I’ll tag Iris and WriteFury (I don’t think either of them has done it…) and Proverbs31teen. Also the Professor, because I would love to find out who his favorite characters on screen are… ;-) Good luck, people!


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