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Jack Harkness was laughing uproariously as Madame Jocasta peremptorily ejected us from the Archives. Gwaine could barely stand upright, and Gawain stared at the character with whom he only shared a name in horrified disgust. Obi-Wan was trying to shush us all, with limited success, and Siri was determined to make things even more insane. The Doctor went and sulked in a shadowy corner.

“That was one awesome party!” Jack declared. “We should have brought drinks with us, though.” I stared at him, shuddering with horror. Perish the thought.

“Jack,Β please,” Obi-Wan snapped in frustration. “There are minors present.”

“Well, since we forgot all theΒ majors,” Jack said and collapsed with laughter over his own joke. I slapped him across the back of the head with a convenient book. He overbalanced and fell flat on his nose. I waved the book at him half-heartedly.

“Ha ha!”

“It serves you right for wrecking her office,” Obi-Wan observed, picking up Gervaise, who had somehow gone all loopy on thin air and was talking to people who no one else could see.

“But peppers areΒ good, Natasha,” Gervaise said to no one. Obi-Wan hoisted him up.

“I’m taking him to the infirmary. The rest of you–” he gave us a warning look. “Behave.

“I hate you all,” the Doctor muttered, looking as if he was about to cry. I ran across and hugged him.

“Don’t give me the puppy eyes, please! You know it leaves me a total wreck,” I whispered. He sighed, making a Herculean effort to regain his self-control.


“Let’s prank Jack until he’s cross-eyed,” I suggested softly. Merlin winked at me. I could feel the Doctor smiling into my hair.


The Great Prank War–the Prank War to end all Prank Wars–was on.