Okay, I’m finally back to writing, I think. Here’s another song-fic, this time to Tarnished Silver, by Heather Dale. Why the obsession with Heather Dale? Because she is just too awesome for words! 😀
The story of this one can be a bit difficult to follow, because some of it is… well. Brothers have a special place where no one else can enter, somewhere deep inside and at the same time, far, far away. As Obi-Wan is dying at Darth Vader’s hand, both he and Anakin slip away for a long moment before they have to part. The song is from the point of view of Morgan LeFay, who is carrying her dying brother Arthur Pendragon to rest on the island of Avalon. I suppose that this fic could be considered partially AU.
Sleep, my tarnished silver
Let me dull you once again
And let our battle end
The sounds of the glen were stilled around them, an ethereal glow gathered. Breath was slowly stilling, dying out in a chill rattle. Obi-Wan Kenobi lay dying, in the arms of his killer.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” Anakin choked out, holding his mentor—father—brother—closest friend—close. Obi-Wan smiled, the paleness that blossomed like a fresh breath across his face melting age and pain away.
Sleep, my snowless winter
Let me warm you once before I go
And I’ll pretend to know and understand
“It had to be this way,” he said softly. “They said our stars were crossed, Anakin. I chose this, Anakin. I sealed my fate.”
“I could have changed it!”
“Had you not turned to the Dark Side, Anakin, it would have happened anyway. You would have seen me change—you would have killed me without meaning to. I’m not—not immortal.” A fit of coughing broke the silence.
Sleep, my fallen cedar
Let me have your weakened pride to hold
And join my barren soil
“Dust to dust. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” Obi-Wan murmured, speaking his own funeral rite.
“I could have saved you!”
“No, you couldn’t. You never were supposed to save me, Anakin. I was meant to save you.”
Sleep, my aimless river
Let your torrent rest against my shore
And leave me what was washed away before
“I’m giving you hope, Anakin. I kept your son safe, all these years.”
“My son?” Anakin echoed. Obi-Wan smiled, coughing hollowly.
“And Padme’s. Her child is… your savior… Strange how… in the end, it’s in your fall that you receive your second chance.”
Time’s been kind to you, my love
As the world had never been
Kinder than to me
“You had Qui-Gon. You had Siri. And you had me.” Anakin muttered.
“And I lost them all, Anakin. The only measure of our suffering is whether we inflict it on ourselves—and others—or whether it’s something we accept—take the burden off of unwilling shoulders—You never wanted to suffer, Anakin. So I had to.”
Strange, the things that we regret
You wanted me to leave
I found enough to give you that
“You said you wanted me to leave.” Anakin murmured.
“I never said that. I only said that I wanted to leave. There’s a difference.”
“I said I hated you.”
“I asked the Force that you’d never have regrets, Anakin. It’s the only thing I ever wished for—and the only thing I never received.”
Sleep, my darkened chapel
Let me kneel before you now, as then
Unworthy as I am
“You’ve always been my beacon,” Anakin whispered. “What am I going to do, when you’re gone?”
“I told you once that everything dies, Anakin. But if a star goes out—that doesn’t mean that it never shone, does it?”
Sleep, my flameless shadow
Let me cool the lingering fires of old
And carry only ashes in my soul
The Jedi Master’s still form sank to the ground, at peace, at last. No funeral pyre had need of lighting, for the frail form that had attended the strong spirit in life was immolated by the flames of the pure heart in death.
Sleep, my tarnished silver…
Darth Vader looked down at his former mentor’s empty cloak for a moment, then he stooped and picked up the fallen lightsaber, its crystal still chiming with the echoes of its owner. Then, he turned away.
Somewhere in the Force, a Jedi Master watched and waited for his younger brother to come home.